greatest joke on earth

2007-05-02T00:21:00.000+08:00

moving on!

well all good things come to an end. and i've moved, for a preety long time actually, to a new 'location' of sorts to pen down my writing. will update each one of you personally for my new blog link.

au revoir (:

2007-04-17T17:09:00.000+08:00

exam fever!

i have to cram astronomy & victorian lit. into my brain in less than a week! goodness me. feeling the heat now. must study study study. wish i didn't have to teach tuition later on; could use the time to mug.

even in exam fever, though, one can never pass up the chance to go for free stuff. so wild wild wet, here i come!

2007-04-12T01:06:00.000+08:00

i'm not a barbie girl.

who's game for Henrik Ibsen's The Dollhouse? it's a play, showing 21-23 june with tickets from $20-$80. (being a poor student i'll probably get the $20 ticket.) Ibsen's a playwright from Norway (i think?). It's a play about a political satire played out in a battle between the sexes. the men are played by midgets, such that the women tower over them! Girl Power.

so if anyone's keen, tag me or drop me a message :)

2007-04-04T00:49:00.000+08:00

wild about wilde.

Mrs Cheveley: What do you know about my married life?
Lord Goring: Nothing. But I can read it like a book.
Mrs. Cheveley: What book?
Lord Goring: The Book of Numbers.

---

Lord Goring: I am glad you have called. I am going to give you some good advice.

Mrs Cheveley: Oh! pray don't. One should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

---

Lord Goring: Oh, I should fancy Mrs Cheveley is one of those very modern women of our time who find a new scandal as becoming as a new bonnet, and air them both in the park at five-thirty. I am sure she adores scandals, and that the sorrow of her life at present is that she can't manage to have enough of them.

- Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband

2007-03-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

downtown.

today's daring dinner escapade: coffee club! my old workplace. (but not the same outlet.) memories of wearing that horrid thick uniform came flooding back to me. but how the menu & the food presentation has changed, changed utterly. (i borrow this line from a famous poet; forgot who. haha! maybe yeats.)

lookit this. it's my smoked salmon garlic cream linguini. never has coffee club food been presented in so 'high-class' a fashion when i worked there. anyways, it's superblo humongouso wondrouso! the rolls of salmon make an intriguing sport in dinner besides the endless twirling of pasta.

after-dinner treat was muddy mud pie! of which the size was unchanged (unfortunately). the punk, afore mentioned in "Close Encounter with Iranian Foreigners", enjoyed drowning this Titanic-like ice cream cake in chocolate syrup. too bad i made Titanic collapse on its sides not once, not twice, but FOUR laugh-out-loud times (!) to the horror of the punk. haha. pardon my horrible table manners.

and, while taking pictures with the lovely dessert, i realize i always strike the same pose when with my favourite part of the meal:

my head appears to be always tilted to one side, everytime i take pictures with nice desserts. i think the stress of not digging into it immediately takes a toll on my head too much, eh.

subway cookies made my day too, as they will always. what a blessed, wonderful, enjoyable day! (:

2007-03-26T02:14:00.000+08:00

the sanitised version.

i've not been as conscious of the nameless entities who peruse my blog as i am now. i chance upon people(who i don't deem as friends) who link-me-up without notifying me at all, people who google me, and people who click on others' links to see my 'beautiful' prose.

it's quite a conundrum. on one hand, i'm glad that people do read my blog & appreciate the little bits of humour that occassionally get penned down here. on the other, i feel so confined when i cannot post up personal feelings/occurrences in the fear that the faceless, nameless entities will read it and get into my head or something. but then again, it's always been "a little vagueness here, a little allusion there" for me. still, do ask me if you want to link me, and if i don't know ya that well - read it and weep... well no, read it and keep it to yerself. (:

anyways. had a roaring good time at starbucks today! Hangman made hanging out real fun. (ha. are you getting the hang of it?) well, i should go hang up my boots now. it's too late to hang around blogging. and i won't let myself hang it all out. If you wanna hang on to my every word in this blog...

hang in there, dudes & dudettes. goood night! =D

2007-03-23T14:51:00.000+08:00

the essential question.

i forgot this funny encounter that happened yesterday! we (me and someone who i shall term the punk) were having dinner and this family of foreigners were dining next to us. suddenly a hand stretches over the shoulder of the punk:

Man: Helloo how are you? (Or something to that effect)

the punk: (stunned) oh good, good!

me (shocked & laughing): [still voiceless here]

Man: You're from Japun (Japan)?

the punk: no, no, Singaporean!

Man: huh..? wat's zat?

the punk: oh, Singapore, Singapore...

Man: ahhh i zee! we're from Iran.

[smiles and nods exchanged.]

the punk & me: ohh, Iran! okay.

Man: so, how old are YOU? (points to me)

me (amidst immediate laughter from the punk): err.. i'm twenty-one..?

Man: Woh! tweenty-one? (looks at wife and gestures.)

me: oh so how old is your daughter?

[daughter is tall, wears makeup, and would look 19 in s'pore.]

Man: oh sixteen..and YOU? (points to the punk)

the punk: heh.. erm twenty-two.

Man: wohh! twenty-two (he tells his wife)

after this he asked us what we were studying, and told us he went to Britain to study English, as I am now. interesting.

and with the essential question that was popped at me (by a curious foreigner no less), i am reminded of my eternal youthful aspect. hooray..i guess. o_O

2007-03-23T01:58:00.000+08:00

what a (wonderful) day!

finallyyy my two essays are over & done with! hooray. well, i received some help with my essay, which was about the problem of 'untouchability' in the Indian caste system. This is what the oh-so-helpful fella wrote (and it merits an A*) :

i do hope my prof enjoys my essay with such insightful comments as this one here.

anyways, i headed to school today (thurs) and chanced upon... my doppelganger!! (no jing & lam it's NOT the doppelganger from meridian with the nugget bag. what a nightmare that was!)

this is me clad in shorts and the cutest tee [little yellow birds tt look like mango pudding] and jacket. the red line between my legs is just..WRONG. ignore please. =X

this is the doppelganger (whose identity shall be kept secret) clad in shorts [hmm!] and what looks like a jacket but is in actual fact a long-sleeved top which looks like a jacket anyway [hmm hmm!].

and the sweetest surprise of the day: earrings!! love them. one a butterfly, the other a heart. visit http://www.rufflemypigtails.blogspot.com/ for the nicest earrings. (:

2007-03-19T18:33:00.000+08:00

crow-ing in fear.

a STOOPID crow hit my head today!! i've always had this fear of crows ( a somewhat suppressed fear). i mean, one hit reena's head back in sec. sch, and xueqi was relentlessly pursued by one in jc. so i've always feared that they might hit me. and today my worst fears were realized! arghh. and i wasn't even eating; i was combing my hair. I HATE CROWS. seriously. when i was in pri. 6, one crow flew down and snatched my packet of super rings! thank God i was with my brother & it didn't attack us. so scary.

i haven't written my essay at all too. spent one whole day in the library researching yesterday. and i have to miss going to my family chalet because of this. sigh. off to write now. ciao.

2007-03-14T23:47:00.000+08:00

jumpin' jiminy!

today i mostly satisfied my flash-in-the-pan shopaholic craving. a quick cursory shop, no less. i realize i do buy stuff pretty decisively, but only when i'm alone. i can't decide properly with others around. hmm. andd..i saw this cute shirt! about kfc & the chicken saying to its chick, "he killed your dad". i think it's funny, no? i wanna buy..but we'll see. i need a new bag too. my bag's falling apart, literally.

miss clarity cafe's soft shell crab pasta was yummy! better than pastamania. and then i was reminded of coffee club's pasta. ooh. one day i'll go back to my old workplace and eat there. after this crazy essay writing period's over.

tomorrow i'm headed for a birthday BUFFET!! wooot. can't wait..! thank You :)

2007-03-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

A (heated?) response:

yes, ugly betty, i so hear you. i don't need to be slim & waifish to be considered pretty.

look at the heart, y'all.

2007-03-11T21:49:00.000+08:00

so much to do, so little time.

feeling swamped. and stressing myself coz 3 essays are due, and i'm struggling to get relevant articles for my essays. 2 are due on the same week..! arghh.

and i also have 4 tuition assignments too. seriously NO time man. what with school & church stuff. gonna drop one tuition and focus on my studies. all this tuition is tiring. can't handle so much.

so, so tired. i want to be 'carefree' and have enough time to do my work, and not look at my schedule for the week and realize how little time i have for my essays. i have to squeeeze out time amidst the busy-ness. time is so precious now. hmm.

ah well. when the going gets tough, the tough get going!

2007-03-08T20:27:00.000+08:00

my pursuit of happyness:

1. CUTE lucky with his hair standing up!

2. helloooo panda!!!

3. aston's! featuring the ieatSuperburger (though i didn't eat it)

2007-03-07T01:39:00.000+08:00

tuesdays with csi!

i could watch this show for 30 seasons and more. i'm not kidding. csi rocks my socks & brightens up my day (or night rather)! second on my most-wanted list is prison break. i can watch them escape multiple times too. muahaha. oh, and not forgetting ugly betty. interesting premise.

and today i exercised (!) i walked to and from tuition (at tampines mart). and ended up with breathing in smelly exhaust fumes, near-miss collisions with motorbikes & cars, and horrible red marks on feet coz of my biting slippers. tsk. the sacrifice i make. ;)

2007-03-04T02:24:00.000+08:00

the paper chase.

my brother got 4As for 'A' level! so, both brothers did very well for the 'O's and 'A's; now they're the cream of the crop. but it's okay. i'd rather be the strawberries on the cream. (ha. ha.) i shall get As too! they'd better give me As considering the amount of time spent writing one dumb essay.

in writing about women being doubly colonised by a foreign race & patriarchy, some people's views shocked me in a sense that they believed the British to be a welcoming presence here. without them, could we have risen out from kampong life to city life? i don't know. many people(myself included?) view colonialism as simply a show of White supremacy. maybe i'm taking a fatalistic view, but i think we Asians will perpetually regard our Western counterparts as better than us, in more ways than we know. look at our dyed hair, our english half-slang, our disdain for Chinese tradition (for most youth at least). i love Alfian Sa'at's poem on the Merlion and on this banana syndrome of ours - yellow on the outside white on the inside. go check it out if you wanna.

and because of my essay, i read Suchen Christine Lim's Rice Bowl. a refreshing view on this paper chase we students absorb ourselves in. a radical nun, a handsome American priest, impressionable young students - they all try to break free of the confines of society...

and fly. high into the sky.

freedom - forever elusive, but forever sought for.

2007-02-24T02:10:00.000+08:00

everything in its time

cookie monster: i love subway cookies. yum.

in proverbs: refresh others, and you yourself will be refreshed. i really felt refreshed today. felt amazed too. Your hand is moving. how exciting.

corrinne may sings: there are a thousand reasons why i should give up...but i'm stubborn in the things i believe in. and i do believe. there can be miracles. i put my hope & trust in You. :)

2007-02-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

s i c k.

fever sore throat & flu. the lethal combination. i hate being sick. huddled in bed the whole day.. had no energy to move my butt off the bed. and i missed class again. sigh. well but my sore throat's better now.

i need hot chicken soup...for my soul.

2007-02-18T01:37:00.000+08:00

and oranges on da house!

burnt my thumb today, because i lifted the dumb - okay i mean hot - steamboat lid and the steam scalded me. poor thumb. dinner was yummy though. lucky joined in the reunion dinner too..he ate two bowls of food! greedy greedy.

anyway, lucky's sore/wound has been almost healed. but, but - he's limping now! and his eye is reddish! arghh. don't know why he has so many problems now. sigh. hoping & praying these will all go away. pronto.

it's been really a struggle to overcome. why did i even allow them to breed inside me. i know i really shouldn't think so much. don't you hate it when your mind automatically thinks of the worst things that ever happened to you in that particular situation, or that it chooses somehow to read things negatively. am i an introverted pessimist? i always saw myself as more of an optimist.

bahh. i really need to change my thought pattern. i just saw part of a chinese movie on TV where the girl would yell out all her grievances into a glass bottle filled with water, cap it up & throw the water out of the window to forget her troubles. i wanna do that too. don't worry i won't throw water on people's heads! no killer water. i promise. haha.

2007-02-12T19:20:00.000+08:00

wut's cookin?

in sakura-flowered japan weeks back.

silly faces & memories galore from the cell.

tradition beckons at cny.

and poor crustaceans are gobbled down...

by very-and i mean very-happy eaters.

2007-02-08T01:36:00.000+08:00

the horror.

when i reached home today, i found out lucky had a sore on a certain part of his body. red & swollen. sigh. my poor darling dog. worried about the sore on him. pray that he'll be all right! that it will go away soon. (vets are darn expensive.) anyway i made him wear the "cone" again. when he ran he knocked into different things & the wall. funny. well at least he's sleeping peacefully now. thank goodness he's not in much discomfort. (it means i can have a peaceful sleep too.)

a side note to lumpy: still want a dog? it's like a baby. gotta care for it lots. hahaha. be warnedd.

and as fer me, it's horrifying that the spot is still there. still. shucks..! to borrow a line from shakespeare: OUT, DAMNED SPOT!

2007-02-07T00:43:00.000+08:00

the lovey-dovey

the cell gave me this absolutely wonderful collage! i loooovee it. thanks so much zhiwei. whenever i look at that gift, i'll just feel really superbly blessed & loved. (: although some pics of me are really...hmmm. haha. i'll really miss all of you.

anyways, i never actually planned or wanted to blog about love (considering that probably everyone would-cynically or otherwise-since it's valentine's day soon) but it was just amazing yesterday night that God impressed upon me how much He loves me. beyond words.

You laid aside Your majesty.

Thank You for the Cross.

There is none like You.

2007-01-28T00:59:00.000+08:00

j'adore.

A la croix (At the Cross)

Verse
Seigneur Tu me cherches
Tu me connais
Et si je T’oubliais
Je sais que Tu m’aimes

Ta sainte présence
elle m’environne
A chaque moment
je sais que Tu m’aimes
Je sais que Tu m’aimes

Chorus
A la croix je me prostèrne
Où Ton sang coula pour moi
Aucun amour n’est plus grand
Tu as gagné sur la mort
Ta gloire remplit les lieux tres hauts
Rein ne peut nous separer

Verse
Tu marches devant moi
Tu gardes mes pas
Ta main me soutient
Je sais que Tu m’aimes

Bridge
Tu déchires le voile
Tu traces un chemin
Car Tu as Tout accompli

Verse
Si tous s’éffondrer
devant mes yeux
Et Tu Te tiens devant moi
Je sais que Tu m’aimes
Je sais que Tu m’aimes

Watch the french version here

2007-01-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

good things do come in threes

2007-01-26T01:57:00.000+08:00

collapsible.

here i am again

striving to concoct a perfect

blend of words;

striving to break free and

run, unhindered.

how familiar, the sorrow which overwhelmed.

grief overstayed its visit

crushing, enticing me to go

where no one knows nor understands.

my rose-tinted glasses lie crushed

under the mighty hand of

smoke soot dust grime;

turning and turning,

i cannot spy the falconer

and i cannot fathom

how much this will move heaven

or when, or how, will i again

soar like eagles' wings.

in memory.

2007-01-23T00:33:00.000+08:00

sweet resolution

today i received

answers to some questions in my heart,

an affirmation of God's promises and sovereignty,

and peace within.

He is awesome.

2007-01-20T01:57:00.000+08:00

HEY YOU.

watch out world.

izzy's the word.

2007-01-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

raindrops--keep fallin'--on my head

I will Exalt the One is such a wonderful song. and so's Holy One of God. love 'em! such impactful & uplifting worship. I will Exalt the One is stuck in my head now- which is fine of course. it's not one of those irritating songs you can't get outta your head. haha.

this week's been good. a self-declared week of rest & relaxation. thank You. my latest record: i slept till 9pm on one day! haha. but it was because i was feeling really ill, and i slept at 4/5am. hmm. so amazing eh, my supposedly unrivalled ability to sleep so much. =D

well i'm really tired now. nights all. i'll try not to sleep all day, sleep all dayy!

2007-01-09T11:21:00.000+08:00

gonna lift my voice in victory-

yayyyy!

i've got the modules that i want for this semester. thank You so much. was pretty worried earlier, but in the end it all worked out great. (:

now i just have to decide which module to drop: Brit-Asian lit or Southeast Asian Women's lit. considering that both start at 9 30am, i'll probably be late or snoozing in bed. haha. hmm. decisions decisions.

and for the record, it's the first day in a loong time i've woken up at 9 plus. yayy..?

2007-01-08T18:13:00.000+08:00

the superficial.

i have this ulcer or something at the corner of my mouth. painful when i open my mouth wide or touch it. and i have two horrible pimples on my face..and they are not disappearing. arghhh!! pray that these'll all be gone. how could they ruin my face like this. sighh.

went to suntan and swim(not splash water) earlier. the sun was scorching; the water inviting. so blissful. unfortunately, school starts tomorrow, as much as i try to not plunge back into that horrendous reality.

i'll just keep swimmin'.

2007-01-05T00:53:00.000+08:00

beery goot.

headed to mj today. remininsced on all the silly stuff back then, one example being in the condemned maths class at the corner of the school, and the silly crushes my silly friends had on certain questionable individuals. ew ew. hahaha.

later on, we had sour cream chips, ben&jerry's choc fudge ice cream (i LOVE it! someone treat me to a tub of it & i'll love you too), vodka/coke/orange juice, and toys like doraemon to join the revelling. laughed at tomato faces & someone's incessant downing of drinks. haha. but well, i feel super bloated from all the food & drink. greaat. shall swim tomorrow! g'night all.

2007-01-03T01:58:00.000+08:00

metamorphosed.

got meself a new layout :)

i really really wanna go for exchange! arghh. people are flying off left, right & centre. but... i think i really really really wanna go for a holiday! okay i realise i've been bemoaning the fact that i've been stuck in s'pore for quite a while now. shows just how much i do not look forward to year2 sem2. sighh. my classes are soo early in the morning. i dread the bleary-eyed journey to boon lay.

in reference to this post's title, is change really unthinkable? there's a tendency to believe that this person's character is always like this. yet, i cannot and will not believe that i cannot change. because i want to change, for the better. isn't this what we always ask or pray for? to name some songs: Change my heart O God & The Potter's Hand. it's difficult to change one's character, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

how imperfect we all are; there're so many things in me i can improve and change. refine me Lord.

2007-01-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

two double oh seven.

i celebrated the first few minutes of the new year by having a piping hot shower.

how mundane; how invigorating.

so much of everything this past year-

the pain in losing a loved one.

the suffering through 3 hour long lectures.

the blissful freedom those 3 months from ntu.

the joy that bloomed with good company & good food.

the unexplainable, unforgettable encounters with You.

i gained much, and lost little. (not in terms of weight, mind ya)

and a parting shot to 2007:

bring it on.

2006-12-30T01:58:00.000+08:00

beautiful.

You're just a prayer away
no matter where i am
i know in my heart
You're never too far
when i'm losing my way

You're just a prayer away
my strength is in my faith
i am never alone
i am never afraid
coz You're just a prayer away

-- just a prayer away (jaci velasquez)

2006-12-26T17:43:00.000+08:00

christmas time.

Santa took a break this year so we had a surprise visit from khui khui,

a test of one's vocabulary and quick-thinking through taboo,
a frantic and intent research for more words to add into the game,a scary visit from the women-in-black-hair,
and a huge blast of a party. (:

2006-12-24T00:32:00.000+08:00

I give praise.

2006-12-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

mozzy mozzy go awayy.

i have so many mozzy bites on my legs you'd think the mosquitoes were sucking up my blood oh-so-joyfully in preparation for their christmas feast. anyways, i've gotten a new hp (like finally) for a few weeks or so. i snapped up...

miss clarity cafe's nice lights,

the breaded grilled fish there which was kinda spicy but still tasted great,

and soup restaurant's decor which made me feel like I was in some Chinese teahouse & Wong Fei Hong was going to come busting in sooner or later.

2006-12-12T17:36:00.000+08:00

wish upon a star.

i wish i was on some nice sunny beach now, getting a real nice tan. the rain's incessant here, casting a gloomy shadow over everything. hrmph.

i wish i could go on a holiday really soon! bangkok, wherever. just not stay in singapore. if only i could go to europe. beautiful places there. *wistful*

i wish i didn't have to teach tuition later!! this is a humongous wish. haha. the material's tough man. have ta crack my brains thinking of how to explain it in simple terms to the children. one seems to be really captivated by all this learning though, which is good. guess i'm not that bad a teacher. haha.

i wish joly & grape guy & goon were here. all the pranks & jibes at each other livened things up a lil'. i've just been bumming around the house reading & watching csi today. alright, that's not too bad a lifestyle i guess.

i wish i didn't have to wish so much.

2006-12-12T01:03:00.000+08:00

busy, busy, me.

this hol has been more busy than school term time! what an irony. the meetings, the planning & coordinating for worship stuff for the camp & the practices. still, thank God He's seeing me through it all, especially since i've been sick a lot. bahh. fever, sore throat, and now i have this headache that won't go away. had it since friday or saturday mebbe. so do pray for me to recover. :)

been running marathon sessions of csi too, whenever i can. reaally intriguing. too bad i'm not a sciency person. haha. time for prison break soon!

okay everyone's telling me i look really like a panda now- pale & with dark-ringed eyes. SIGH! g'night all.

2006-12-04T00:28:00.000+08:00

kiddy palace.

loads of laughs today,

at wei xiong's book on Mastering Manhood (HAHA!!) ,

bingo-mania with me never getting 5 lines crossed out while i got cross-eyed staring at the grid,

and strangling ourselves mad with hangman and lijia's lame words like "mangali" and "zhu ba jie" and the super unpronounceable word/name of some rock musician which only brain knows how to pronounce.

2006-11-30T15:11:00.000+08:00

hello.

hello december.

hello december, you month of freedom.

hello december, you month of freedom, of unforced cheer and unrestrained gaiety.

hello december, you month of freedom, of unforced cheer and unrestrained gaiety. with marathon sessions of shopping swimming pigging out CSI Prison Break.

heelllooooo december ;)

2006-11-22T21:52:00.000+08:00

e.x.a.m.ine me

taking a much-needed break from mugging. okay so the break kinda started about 2 hours ago, but all the gender theories & debate about essentialism vs. constructionism is making my head swim. still, it's pretty interesting stuff. at least i'm not studying numbers and well, more numbers. ugh. well, gender studies will be my third paper! my first two exams have come & gone. thank God (: wrote some really 'off' answers for forensic science. could've smacked myself for that! but it's okay i hope the mcq was fine. and i was freezing for my singapore literature paper. my hand cramped & i was shivering, but i did write quite a bit for each question. so basically, it's fine & dandy..what my results should be too! okay mebbe i shouldn't get into that yet. =X

can't.hardly.wait.for.my.exams.to.be.over. OVER. OVERR!!

2006-11-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

Take every thought captive.

No exceptions. Anything, any thought that is contrary to the Word of God, eg. "you have no reason to live" you have to take it captive. How do you take a thought captive? You have to take your thoughts captive by something greater than a thought. What is greater than a thought? The Word and your words! Revelation 12:11 - "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony..." Your words have more authority than your thoughts and if you speak what God says, then you are speaking that which is spiritual for God's Word is spirit and life. When your testimony becomes God's Word, then you speak power.

-- an excerpt from http://www.hissheep.org/deliverance/mastering_our_emotions.html

do read the whole passage linked via the url there. it's good. it's a timely instruction and encouragement, especially during this exam period, when not-very-good thoughts in yer mind build up somehow & get you down. but yes. i am more than a conqueror in Christ. who says Amen to that?!

2006-11-15T13:23:00.000+08:00

good night, farewell

"sleep inertia: a transition period from asleep to awake in which a person experiences diminished mental functioning, such as not being able to make quick decisions, impaired concentration and a lack of energy.People who feel lethargic from oversleeping could find themselves in a vicious cycle that is very hard to break: It seems as though more sleep is needed, but that could just lead to more grogginess."

and that bold sentence just sums it all up for piggybel. hah!

on a more amusing & highly entertaining note, yesterday I found Lucky(the cutest dog ever) ON TOP OF THE TABLE! he'd jumped onto the table to eat a sausage-one whole, long, complete, intact sausage- my bro left on the plate. how greedy can you get?! and he disturbed my beauty sleep too. hmph.

oh yes. my exams start tomorrow! how... fun. haha. pray for me to write wonderfully! (:

2006-11-11T01:57:00.000+08:00

A silent song from the heart

(in emulation of kenmuddo HAHA)

Your Grace Still Amazes Me - PCD

My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy's like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
Cause Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there's no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise

It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
It's deeper it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
than anything my eyes can see

i love this song. the lyrics totally capture what one feels. unfortunately, it's only replaying in my mind. to some kind soul out there, do send me this song!

2006-11-09T02:24:00.000+08:00

the writer rejoices.

All right, so my blog is suddenly experiencing an influx of posts. But i do need a space to hone my writing skills, and a space for expression. Aaanndd... a space to announce the completion of ONE essay!

HOORAYY!! I actually exceeded the word limit of 1300 words. I amaze meself.

One whole day spent in front of my laptop screen has certainly paid off. My back aches mightily though. hrrmmph. off to bed and to tackle the next horriblee essay! Cover me in prayer as I enter the battle arena to fight for my A. ha!

Thank You Lord for sustaining me this day. This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice & be glad in it (:

2006-11-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

of war, love & glory.

Indigenes was a great film (and my first at The Picture House!). Apart from my being almost concussed from the loud blasts of mortars & grenades & the like, the film really brought out the plight of these men, who are Africans who go to fight for France against the Germans. Once again the colonised-coloniser relationship is at work- the power struggle and the fight for equal rights. How courageous these men were; how loyal to their Motherland. I wonder if the same can be said for us.

Interestingly enough, I was probably the only female in the theatre. But I enjoy watching films about war. They evoke so much pathos with the struggles and suffering faced, so much pride at the human spirit of perseverance, & are so much more realistic than Hollywood remakes and fluffy flicks. And did I mention it's a French film? j'adore. (:

2006-11-04T20:17:00.000+08:00

2006-11-03T13:28:00.000+08:00

woe is me.

essays are yet to be churned out. help.

and i am saddened upon being faced with this horrible, petulant, easily angered, judgmental "little" girl once again.

that's right, the girl is me.

2006-10-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

viva vivo

i have 2 essays- or more like research papers- to hand in & 2 presentations all heading my way these few weeks. "stressed" doesn't quite cut it. well i'm still superbly glad the school term's ending soon! hooray. some other stuff on my mind too; a decision yet to be firmed and a commitment to shoulder well.

went to vivocity today after class. ironically, i went all the way there to eat at the foodcourt. hmph. i say that people are earning too much these days, so restaurants become really pricey. spare a thought for the poor, working student! anyways, malls are all fast becoming replicas of huge glittering behemoths situated in a cool district. where's the individuality or the uniqueness in that, i wonder.

Let me hear Your gentle whisper.

2006-10-25T19:55:00.000+08:00

a match made in heaven.

had the great privilege to attend a church wedding on Tues. a beautiful day- nice dresses, great fellowship, and photos galore! had a wonderful, blessed time. (:

the groom with the beautiful ladies!

the girls with the cutie caitlin.

the BOYS. okay fine they look more "manly" now in formal wear.

singapore's next top models!

*photos grabbed from douglet. someone buy me a cam so i don't have to leech!

2006-10-11T02:00:00.000+08:00

i'm in the mood fer somethin' light- not.

Watched Art School Confidential & The Breakup today. a much needed rest! Art School's some crazy dark comedy about a guy trying to win his dream girl's heart, coupled with a murderer stalking the grounds of their school. The Breakup's pretty funny. i think the ending was really poignant in a sense, coz it isn't the typical happily-ever-after ending but they actually moved on, happily.

So i was just contemplating why it is so that in almost every movie, two elements are played out to the hilt: religion and sex. No movie- sorry, no Hollywood movie- is complete without either(or both) of these. and most shows portray the religious element negatively, while glamourising the partying, the boozing, the sex. I wonder why religion has to be dragged in, to be crucified in such a manner. But i guess, the more controversial the show, the more revenue it earns, the more fame, the more whatever.

Well then, enough with all these philosophizing. the brain's almost shut down. good morning and good night.

2006-10-06T02:16:00.000+08:00

pause.

i quote rather vaguely from Pinter, who says that there is always a certain point where the joke is not funny anymore.

i just experienced that point. more than that- i've reached boiling point.

2006-09-29T01:14:00.000+08:00

open to dissection.

here's lucky with his lampshade collar! my poor dog has some skin infection so he has to wear that collar to prevent him from biting his own paw. he looks like an alien. hahaha.

BUT HE'S STILL CUTE!!

lucky agrees: "rruff!"

2006-09-28T01:03:00.000+08:00

tuned to: imagine me without you - jaci velasquez

my hol's been uneventful. on monday, i slept till 4 30 pm! am i the sleeping beauty or wut. and today, my poor darling lucky went to the vet! (courtesy of a wonderful cg leader's help) he kept licking his paw for 2 days or so. the vet shaved off all the hair on that paw & the skin was really red & bruised. according to the vet, he kept biting his own paw till it became really bad. now he has to wear the collar that is like a lampshade. (no idea what you actually call it) with that thingy around his head, he keeps banging into things as he walks! sighh. my poor dog. :(

well time waits for no man, and now it's time to get some rest. zzz...

2006-09-20T23:50:00.000+08:00

the mundaneity of life strikes once in a while.

a 16 year old boy dies inexplicably from dengue fever- a bright future dimmed & snuffed out without warning.

the military in Thailand wrests control over the country (sneaky indeed, since Thaksin was out of town).

the IMF/ WB meetings are feverishly covered & devoured by all us simple folk in singapura.

and on and on we go.

2006-09-13T23:35:00.000+08:00

for nothing more.

there is a certain poignancy that exists in this space i inhabit.

can't explain it much; maybe it's the rain, or the lone train rides to & from boonlay that provide me with time for a re-evaluation of myself, my ministry, my actions, and more.

i am faced with the idea that things could've been different had i chosen the other option in the different situations i was in. yes, maybe there is a hint of regret in there. is where i am now part of God's design? i question sometimes. and i guess the answer is simply that, all the things that have happened to me so far this year were to prepare me for nothing more than to draw nearer to Him. i am a captivating work in progress, still being perfected, chided, disciplined, by my Maker.

onward to perfection.

2006-09-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

There is a moment
when the familiar becomes lost
and I am trying to find it.

It should be a gradual
process, the loosening of leaves
from the fold of bark. Instead

there is a clear point
of divide, between what is
and what you have known

- an excerpt from "There Is A Moment" by Alvin Pang.

2006-09-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

Lord,

grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

- St. Francis of Assisi.

2006-09-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

relish.

the simple joys in life.

2006-08-25T02:49:00.000+08:00

before & after.

new layout! just felt it was time for a change. okay so maybe the sky's green & it's pretty unrealistic in the picture, but i like green so here we are. anyway, as much as i know how to tweak html, i never figured out(or mebbe i didn't bother to figure out) how to put my archives up. now that it works, i just read some earlier posts, and my, i'm amazed. at the things which concerned me then & at the way i wrote then. hmm.

thank God it's fridayy! my wonderful long weekend's here. went for crossroads & it was refreshing & renewing. the Servant King- these two words can't even be put together since they are contradictory, yet it speaks true for Jesus.

weell, it's late & as usual, my eyebags ain't getting no better.

bonne nuit (:

2006-08-23T21:56:00.000+08:00

r e c e n t l y

i've been thinking, of how easy it is to fall away.

how, more than we are multi-coloured or multi-national, we are multi-layered. that we have to dig deeper, to find the core of who 'i' am.

how some are so disillusioned & absorbed in simply non-existent rubbish.

and how i know things're better this way.

and that my soul knows very well.

2006-08-14T09:15:00.000+08:00

stealing awa[ke]

so yeah, i'm up at 9am(it's not my usual time; mine's more like 12pm or 1pm HA) though i've had a fitful sleep. all for the sake of getting one elective for school. I GOT IT! whew. now i have a 4 day week with fridays free(yay). still, it's time to travel to boonlay again. sigh. goodbye holiday.

went to watch fireworks- packed worse than sardines; hot & sweaty & irritating; ground-shaking booms; breathtaking. this woman behind me kept going "waaahh" whenever the fireworks burst out, which was like once every 10 seconds or so. i just watched silently.

life sometimes is like a video stuck at replay. but i don't wanna fast forward or pause. rewind's more like it. but once i rewind, it'll play again. what a dilemma(as every lit student must experience once in a while eh).

2006-08-04T02:59:00.000+08:00

redeemer, saviour, friend.

Your grace is sufficient for me;

Your strength is made perfect when I am weak.

All that I cling to, I lay at Your feet.

Your grace is sufficient for me.

It's been somewhat an upheaval of emotions lately. An internal struggle of sorts. Yet God is faithful. I was trying to recall the verse that spoke to me lots, and today the missing word came to me- delight. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of Your heart." I know this came to pass in my life. Yet now, I had allowed my sadness to cloud over; my hurt to well up; my anger to simmer. Today, this ends. I will delight in Him once again!

thank You.

and thank you.

2006-07-29T22:17:00.000+08:00

To You Alone

Every knee will bow

And every tongue confess
That Jesus Christ is Lord
Lord and King

All glory to Your name
All honour to Your Majesty
Forever, forever
All praise to You alone

Every eye will see

And every heart will know
The beauty of the Lord
In all the earth

All praise to You alone
All praise to You alone
All praise to You alone

2006-07-15T21:26:00.000+08:00

and i'll follow You there.

current read: Jodi Picoult's Vanishing Acts

current tune: Hillsong's Your Unfailing Love

today's been a great time of personal relaxation & rest from the cares of this world. back from a long, unplanned hiatus! it's been a hectic july, what with work & tuition & all.

big news flash: i'm twenty. i've hit the big 2-0. (ironically, i still look like a secondary school student.) inside of me, i'm screaming "Nooo!!" because as much as being an adult hands you greater privileges (not to mention responsibilities), i still wanna be a girl who's stuck in between- the stage between teeny-bopper and mature adult. but well, i'm hugely blessed by God in these 20 years of life. to all of you out there: thanks for all the well-wishes, gifts, cards, cakes, and the surprise b'day party. (: some pictures to spice things up a notch:

this cake is DELICIOUS! chocolate cheesecake from secret recipe. looove it.

they're my beloved babes! seen here acting cute. ugh.

the eccentrics of campus crusade; mastermind of this surprise celebration was zhixian on my right. thank you guys! (somehow i can't upload e pic of all of us. thanks to the rest who came anyway!)

2006-06-30T17:12:00.000+08:00

i watched and wondered

and wandered further on

this dipping, unruly road.

before me lies unseen

shuddering

unheard footfalls,

distant echoes of-

encroaching pain

anger that bruises the edges;

blinding joy entirely

in the smile. And the

gleaming promise of hope

love the eyes sparkle

full of life

beyond me.

2006-06-15T12:19:00.000+08:00

from a hairball......

...... to a hairless one!

my darling lucky! he's SO CUTE. don't deny it. =D

2006-06-07T03:04:00.000+08:00

saying hello & goodbye.

went to the columbarium on the 26th of may to see my grandma, or rather, her ashes. or to put it better, her memory. sometimes i still can't grasp the notion that someone living & breathing is reduced to ashes and resides in an urn. how cyclical life is. a season to live, and a season to die, as Ecclesiastes puts it. how much of our life is unforeseen by us who live it; yet we still choose to live life frivolously, because it's my life. where is the meaning in life then, to indulge in temporary pleasures & unfulfilling relationships? (okay, i'm going reeaally ecclesiastical now.) grow up & stop to love, listen, and learn.

the words i wrote to her are depicted below. words can be transcendent, y'know. ask any poet like shakespeare or donne. and the flower petals at the side lend a touch of beauty to my words too. (:

---

thank God for my good results, which i received on tues. (: so blessed, i am. watched Over The Hedge and She's The Man too. but ThePictureHouse's calling me. who's game for artsy films?! also, my throat's feeling much better & i really hope i don't lose my voice! may i drink gallons of water. oh and my bro just returned from the US. he told me that ben&jerry's cost S$4.50 per tub! ahh!! give me ben&jerry's, or give me death. (a pun on give me liberty, or give me death. heh.) happy sleeping all! while i really become panda-eyed.

2006-05-30T22:08:00.000+08:00

in heavenly-pensive contemplation.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise Him,

My Saviour and my God.

- Psalm 42:11

2006-05-29T12:19:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time...

There was a young maiden called Sleeping Beauty, who lived a pretty happy life. (i mean, look at her name! people like us can only snooze for about 6 hours or so, but she continually engages in slumber. maybe that's what makes her a beauty). Yet one day, she heard rumours that people were calling her Sleeping Ugly, amongst other speculations. She was mortified at the speed at which such rubbish travelled, not to mention the way in which it did: in one ear, out one mouth, and into another ear, out another mouth. (picture it: regurgitation at its best. what a sly, vicious cycle, ain't it.) She was also miffed at how they believed in such ungrounded theories. Only if they had bothered to look at her, and not believe in hearsay, would they have received the truth and seen her to be a Beauty (and not an Ugly of course *snorts*).

but despite all these, she lived happily ever after. (sure, sure, as all fairytales go, she does. but don't you realise that's just an assumption? who knows; maybe Sleeping Beauty would get insomnia. the ending, then, is solely for Sleeping Beauty to know & to experience.)

The End

2006-05-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

helloo world! so mebbe i'm bored and darius tagged me..so here it is! i'll do drea's one another day. (: not gonna tag others though..haha. life's been pretty good. though i was superbly embarrassed when some aspiring magician made me the star of his magic trick in Cartel, placing two glasses of water on my hands that were palm down on the table. when i opened my eyes, the people, not the water, had disappeared. one more event to add to izzy's hall of shame. sigh. poor me!

---

Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. Don't read the questions before you write, and tag 5 people to do the survey.

1. jing
2. lump
3. gaz
4. min
5. cin
6. chiu
7. douglet
8. kenmuddo
9. shihan
10. drea
11. dor
12. enting
13. darius
14. kit
15. lyn
16. jin ju
17. peixuan
18. ben
19. da
20. j

1. How did you meet number 14?
haising! though i didn't talk to her then. so i guess i met her in ntu engrish. my mrt buddy!

2.What would you do if you had never met Number 1?
my life would've been less traumatic! no silly songs like "this little guiding light of mine" terrorizing me. but then again, she's my beloved garjing!

3.What would you do if 20 and 9 dated you?
... hahaha! rightt. it would be such a privilege for them to date wonderful me!

4.Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
nah they're both female.

5.Describe Number 3.
my twin!! what more can i say?

6.Do you think No.8 is attractive?
well.. he could win hearts with his piano playing. hoo ha!

7.Tell me something about No.7.
douglet!! funny & caring. (see i'm sooo nice.)

8.Do you know anything about no.12's family?
hmm. well she has 3 other siblings if i remember correctly? i think they're a good, christ-centred happy family.

9.What is No.10's favorite?
erm.. what favourite? tapdancing i guess. and singing. haha.

10.What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you?
yeah sure..dor loves me! as a sis-in-christ.

11. What language does 15 speak?
good ole english. she's really powderful.

12.Who is 18 going out with?
haha.. no one! he's committed to God.

13.What is your relationship with no.16 and old is he/she now?
friends..just went swimming together! she's 20. eeps.

14.When was the last time u talked to 13?
hmm. heart-to-heart-talk? it's been a loong time. where ARE u darius lim! haha.

15 .Who's 2's favorite singer?
err.. me n jing! la la la...

16.Would you date number 4?
min? ahahaha. noo. okbye!

17.Would you date 14?
(the qs. are getting more retarded.) no it's kittycat!

18.Is 15 single?
weeell.. nope. "O my love is like a red, red rose" ;)

19.What's 10's last name?
chua.

20.Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 6?
no it's chiu! haha. a sis-in-Christ as well.

21.What school does 3 go to?
skool of starbucks!

22.Where does 4 live?
in a newer estate of s'pore.

23.What's your favorite thing about number 5?
she's my sister! through thick & thin man. pindy rawks.

24. What do you think of no.13?
ahh darius? horribly, terribly, irritatingly goondu! hahaha. okok. extremely talented in the piano, and of course, a friend to cherish fr hsc days.

25. what do no.4 and no.19 have in common?
min and da? hmmm.. they're quiet sometimes.

26.what special qualities does no.17 hold in your life?
good friend fr haising! her mum's cooking is great...that's a reeaal special quality.
---

2006-05-15T15:36:00.000+08:00

countdown...

10 hours of sleep each day!! (i wish)
9 friends at kenny roger's
8 million steps at mount faber
7 ice creams for every day of the week
6 glasses of water each day i hope!
5 kayakers at east coast park last friday (i'm darker!)
4 days of giving tuition to bratty lil' kiddies
3 years left in uni!!
2 cakes savoured - oreo cheesecake & chocolate banana cake
1 happy girl. (:

2006-05-08T00:12:00.000+08:00

sweetest indulgence.

just had Nuts About Chocolate ice cream! heavenly! so fudgy & chocolatey. DON'T tell me how fat i'm gonna be(or already am). i really would love an ice cream treat someday man. haha!

saturday was spent soo wonderfully- with Jesus! simply awesome. today(sunday) was great as well. (: but i'm really tired out now. gonna get some much desired sleep. gotta wake up at 8am to teach tuition...SIGH.

and this is a special shout-out:
happy birthday mum!

2006-05-05T17:07:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!!!

it's over, it's over, i know it's over! (to the tune of '"He's Able") hahaha. well frankly, i wasn't euphoric when the paper ended. i was more in a deflated state, accompanied only with a great sense of relief. and lucky me had krazy kit jumping up & down & squealing in delight because the exams were over. ah well, now her happiness is infectious...

YAY!! HOORAY!! WOOHOO!! YEAAAHH!!

(okayy that's enough cheers for one blog post.)

time to streak my hair with blindingly blonde highlights, party all night at clubs, and get stone drunk on alcohol.

but on second thought- NAH. give me a good book and good company anytime. (:

(Disclaimer: the above-mentioned "happening" acts are purely in jest. the reader should know that the author is a very, very goood girl. very.)

2006-04-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

this journey of loving You more.

awesome day in church. one day in the house of God is better than a thousand days in the world (: still, the weather's just terrible lately, dontcha think? i've been feeling hot & sticky, and as a result of these, irritable. election fever's here too; call me apathetic, but i hate politics. ugh. some friends're also struggling with their problems, and as much as i would love to help them & solve the problems, i can't. all i can do is listen & pray.

besides all this, all i'm looking forward to right now is:
5 MAY! FRIDAY! 12PM! FREEDOM!

no more boon lay. no more butt-aching train rides. no more waking up 2h before lecture starts. no more 3h lessons on shakespeare. no more everything! woohoo! =D can hardly wait.

and there are no words left to say. (:

2006-04-27T00:55:00.000+08:00

points to ponder.

surrounded by Your glory
what will my heart feel?
will i dance for You Jesus
or in awe of You be still?
will i stand in Your presence
or to my knees will i fall?
will i sing "Hallelujah"
will i be able to speak at all?

many issues running through my mind now; there are questions that are so difficult to answer, a future that seems so terrible to go through. hmmm. je ne sais pas. in His time.

my 3rd exam was a total test of my endurance. i had a headache throughout- a pounding, searing headache. i started to feel feverish as well. still, i tried my best! the questions were tough and i admit i did not put in as much effort into studying for this as compared to the others. but well, it's over. one more to go!

i can only imagine...

2006-04-22T02:06:00.000+08:00

not lookin' back.

all work and no play makes me a dull girl.
i'm cooped up in my house everyday, facing absolutely boring texts to plow through. but i managed to get my hands on Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. it's a pretty good read.

the somewhat disastrous event mentioned in the previous post still weighed heavily on my mind, so much so that that night i lay in bed and my eyes wouldn't shut. the past haunted me: the hurts, the bad experiences, the mistakes i had made all floated back up to the surface. then i had an epiphany of sorts- why look back and dwell so much on the past, and even engage in self-flagellation(though not in the literal sense)? i've come a long way; i know i've changed and grown. Jesus helped me in my times of trouble and need; He lifted me up and wiped the unseen tears away. He knows my thoughts, my motivations, my emotions. No other source of comfort is needed when He's here. how wonderful are His promises, and most of all, His love for me. so seek Him when there's no one else around to hear you. turn to Him when the problems grow bigger and no one understands. find rest in Him when your mind & soul is in turmoil. why Him, you may ask? because He, in his infinite love, went to die on the cross for you. actions- they speak louder than words. and so this is what i'm doing: moving forward.

2006-04-20T12:21:00.000+08:00

taking a load off my chest.

i'm disappointed.

in myself.

i could've handled things better. but then again, i could've accepted what was said, taken my dues and left. why did i try so hard to keep it? hrmmph.

it's a sad day when you realize how much you've messed things up, and no matter how much you try to redeem yourself, it doesn't make you feel any better.

2006-04-17T22:49:00.000+08:00

The Moste Wondrous Picture of the People who Rawkk my Worlde

Act 1, Scene 1

kudos to weixiong aka drums beater aka SMOO(SMU) MAN for this excellent pic! just too bad some were MIA. ah well. the pic reminds me of being in a theatre. all the world's a stage, as shakespeare puts it. andd..today i just ended my shakespeare paper! was pretty all right. thank God that on sunday the pain in my throat was gone =D took a week for it to disappear man. from the bottom of my heart, thanks for the prayers, smses, encouragement and concern! really made me feel better. now, however, my blocked nose's come back. what's wrong wit me?! well, one week to go before my next paper, which is both a relief and a drag. adieu world!

Exeunt.

2006-04-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

Goood Friday

church service was awesome (: sorry, i seem to currently be in an Americanised phase, so i'll probably say awesome a lot soon. hahaha. the songs, especially Mercy Saw Me, really sent chills through me. it was great to sit as part of the congregation, to bask in His presence & be quiet before Him. my throat still really hurts though. it's been 5 days and it hasn't let up! haiz. why must i always fall sick during exam period? mebbe i'm stressing myself up.

my first exam came & went on thursday. felt it was all right coz the texts i prepared came out (like duh, after the prof's liberal hints) and i did my research. Thank God. unfortunately, i can't say the same for Shakespeare. aarrghhh. 2 days left and i still have practically everything to cover. may the questions be mercifully easy. hahh.

sometimes, ignorance isn't bliss.

2006-04-11T16:28:00.000+08:00

hard times.

Nadine Gordimer's "The Moment the Gun Went Off" is a must-read! go search online for it or steal it or whatever. this story ain't about violence & gore, so you trigger-happy junkies can go watch war movies instead. hahh.

was absolutely sick on monday. slept practically the whole day though i wanted & tried to study. pray fer me! i still have a bad sore throat, headaches that come and go, and a slightly severe lack of focus. =X

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet."
- Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet

2006-04-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

finito!

-- and so my first year in Uni ends. a pretty stressful end if i must say, because of the 3 essays i had to hand in consecutively. but it's over. like, finallyy. This semester was really...eventful. it's been tough getting the motivation & the drive back to do work after my grandma's passing. still, i thank God that i mostly got Bs this sem, with the one unwanted C and the surprising A minuses. now it's time to face the exams! only 4 papers, and the exam period stretches out over 3 weeks. hooray.

-- and the rain never stops. ever realise that it rains between the time period of 3-5pm almost every single day? my jc Lit. teacher once told the class that on Good Friday, it'll rain at 3pm. mebbe these frequent downpours foreshadow what's to come...

stir it up in our hearts- passion for Your name.

2006-04-05T02:18:00.000+08:00

enough is enough.

i just don't have any affinity with computers. got freakin pissed when my essay that i transferred from my Apple to the desktop couldn't be read in MicrosoftWord. then my father shifted the printer to my room, so i could try printing the essay from my laptop. it totally failed(as i expected). anyways, the problem was solved by converting MicrosoftWord to the pdf. format. except now i seem to have spoilt my father's thumbdrive. now he's really pissed.

and i'm really, really dead meat. haiz.

2006-04-03T00:23:00.000+08:00

Lord my heart cries out
"Glory to the King"
my greatest love in life
I hand You everything
Glory, Glory, I hear the angels sing

Open my ears, let me hear Your voice
to know that sweet sound
O my soul rejoice!
Glory, glory, I hear the angels sing

You're the father to the fatherless
The answer to my dreams
I see you crowned in righteousness
We cry "Glory to the King"
Comforter to the lonely
The lifter of my head
I see you veiled in majesty
We cry "Glory, Glory"
We cry, "Glory to the King!"

a song that God impressed upon me when i was down. now i'm all right. (: except i'm tearing my hair out at the mountain of essays due this week! and i have insomnia now. arghh. well, His strength is perfect. blessed week ahead all!

2006-03-29T23:14:00.000+08:00

___and she watched herself slipping;

asking why the lights are dimmed

in the shadowy depths of her eyes
when the world spins gaily round
and all she needs to realize

___it ain't that bad.

2006-03-27T12:03:00.000+08:00

You raise me up

if(and only if) there was an 11th commandment:

Thou shalt not expect nor interpret.

"Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the center cannot hold"

-W.B. Yeats, The Second Coming

2006-03-23T18:16:00.000+08:00

can't keep my eyes off of you

all because first row asked me to..a sneak peek into the wonderful life of izzabelle ;)

Select 5 people to pass the love on to:

1. me
2. myself
3. i
4. moi(french)
5. wo(chinese)

(now you know how many multiple personalities i have. hahh.)

Here It Is: What were you doing 10 years ago?

suffering under the cruel hands of teachers in pri sch.
i also started failing maths then. urgh. =X

5 songs that you know the lyrics right off your head...

(you're asking the girl with a lyrics library in her brain. some of my faves listed, then.)

1. refuge
2. here i am to worship
3. amazed
4. majesty
5. You laid aside Your majesty

5 things you would do if you're a millionaire...

1. migrate! either to NZ or somewhere in europe.
2. ahem. yes yes. donate to a worthy cause.
3. buy every want or need my family has.
4. invest/save my millions and become a billionaire.
5. or maybe i should just give it all away..money doesn't buy happiness anyways.

5 bad habits...

1. being late for almost everything. (it just seems to be ingrained in me! sighh.)
2. procrastinating.
3. sleeping too much. hahaha.
4. wearing mostly Gio tees. yep i'm boorring. tsk tsk.
5. getting stuck to the comp monitor for too long. heelp.

5 things i like doing...

1. sleeping in. (i haven't had the luxury to do so for a long while yea! im not a pig.)
2. eating fooodd. especially desserts. (ice cream! chocolate! yays.)
3. wasting my oh-so-precious time msn-ing.
4. watching meaningful shows.
5. this is something i love doing: spending time with God, family & friends. (:

Things that you will never buy, wear or get a new one again?

1. what i'll never buy: trash magazines?
2. what i'll never wear: i'll never wear my heart on my sleeve. (shakespeare's taught me this. haha.)
3. what i'll never get a new one for: i don't treasure material things this much. but i won't let go of gifts from friends.

5 favourite toys...

1. winnie the pooh!
2. toy dogs i guess? the one garjing gave me is cute.
3. my laptop snow white!
4. my hp (not really but i don't play wit TOYS now)
5. other ppl's digicams. hahaha. coz i don't have one myself, as much as i want one.

2006-03-19T00:43:00.000+08:00

S.N.O.W. IN SINGAPORE

once again, a special report brought to you by the award-winning journalist izzabelle!

S.N.O.W. (Speedlight Night Of Worship) was reported to be witnessed in a certain part of Tampines on Friday night, the 17th of March 2006. Multitudes experienced this phenomenon with open hearts and open hands.

In interviewing the many eyewitnesses, this same journalist got rave reviews of how S.N.O.W. has stirred up the hearts of people. One such passionate soul is Minster(pictured centre), who sang her heart out till her voice grew hoarse. Yet, she exclaimed, "Snow was wonderful!" Another interviewee, Gazelle(pictured left), who played the synthesizer with such vigour and musicality, could only prance around capturing the moments with her trusty camera as a sign of her passion.

(from left: Gazelle, Minster, and Izzabelle)

This meaningful milestone in the history of Speedlight also has encouraged a group of passionate women to motivate others to serve with heart, mind, body, and soul. This group calls themselves the sis-STERS, and they come togged out in white, not to emulate a certain political party in Singapore, but to signify purity and freshness - just like snow!

(the sis - STERS)

Indeed, S.N.O.W. was a success - not due to the efforts of the Speedlighters, but all because of the One above. All of us should certainly look forward to changing, for the better, the seasons of Singapore. LET IT SNOW!

2006-03-13T13:19:00.000+08:00

so you sailed away into a grey sky morning.

CALAMITY has struck! my computer's been reformatted, so ALL my pictures are gone. sighh. :( well, at least i've jumped onto someone's wireless now. thank God. i can finally go online & blog & do all sorts of meaningless things. hahh.

anyways, it's been one tiring week after another. essay after essay. book after book. poem after poem. okay you get my drift. i have a presentation tomorrow and i still haven't prepared it! can't wait for this sem to end. i reeally can't wait. just thinking of not having to travel to boon lay for 3 months, of waking up late, of actually going to exercise & get a tan, of reading for leisure and not for class... bliss. pure bliss. HURRY ME TO MAY!

now i've gotta go rustle up some worthwhile points for my presentation; bathe smelly lucky; write a dumb essay. adieu all!

2006-03-01T00:10:00.000+08:00

spillage.

how much more is there to hide?

how much sorrows more to bear?

how many more burdens piled on?

Jesus cannot be all you need until Jesus is all you've got.

and You're all i've got now.

2006-02-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

WANTED!

Criminal Mastermind flees to India

Mr. B. B. B. , seen here with his poor unsuspecting victims.

The man responsible for a recent flurry of dastardly activity in Holland Village has been found by the Singapore Immigration Authorities(SIA) to be sneaking his way to India sometime tomorrow morning. Mr. B. B. B. (we have given him another name to protect his identity) is notorious for terrorising Holland Village, especially a certain Settler's Cafe.

Just recently, Mr. B. B. B. and his unsuspecting victims visited Settler's for a round of games. Among the many dastardly deeds he committed that night was to trick one victim into believing a taxi stand was a bus stop, cruelly isolate the poor little pigs in Galloping Pigs, attack severely a beef steak, and continually snatch away the wooden "totem" in Jungle Speed, much to his victims' utter dismay.

Police will be actively searching all exit points for this elusive mastermind. Anyone who possesses information on the whereabouts of Mr. B. B. B. is urged to dial 1900-bird-feathers.

A Special News Report brought to you by the multi-award-winning journalist Belle de Nuit.

God bless! (:

2006-02-23T01:25:00.000+08:00

twinkling stars in the night sky.

just went to fisherman's with these 3 babes (: loved staring at the night sky, the distant lights, smelling the sea breeze(though the ciggy smoke soon polluted it. bah. smoking ban NOW, please.)

i'm so proud of lambo. i mean, what other friend can drive so wonderfully? as she waved to garjing, she actually let go of the steering wheel and the car swerved. and even with the words "hump ahead" she couldn't see the actual hump on the road. you go, gurl! haha.

well, vuling and her terror tuition stories were hilarious. now she's a girl really cut out to be Teacher of the Year. NIE trainees, eat yer hearts out. she'll not spare the rod, or slaps, or scoldings, or whatever. scaryy.

as for garjing, the surprise of the night was that she wore jeans! for someone whose wardrobe is made up of skirts, short skirts, fbts, shoes, heels, shorter skirts, dresses... it's no mean feat. i salute you garjing! you have given up your femininity. join the darkk side. ;)

look at the stars; look how they shine for you.

2006-02-21T01:50:00.000+08:00

horriday woes.

(and other thoughts)

i have 3 assignments now! three. when there used to be two. three essays to structure & crack my brains on. plus, i have TONS of books to read! all the heavyweights in Engrish Literature like Dickens & Austen & Shakespeare, and(sad to say)some 'unknown' Singaporean writers. SIGHHH. no luxury for me this holiday week!

on to other thoughts: being in the spotlight isn't what i'm hankering after. one gets either praise or criticism, but the thing one definitely gets is judgment. those words cut quick and cut deep. though said in seeming jest, the insinuations were clear. but let me forget this passing remark & remember the encouragement instead. (:

despite all these, today was a great day to start the week off! the time spent with friends was relaxing, and pleasant hilarious surprises presented themselves, much to my delight. (: so bonne nuit to all! cheers to the 6 days left of the hols.

2006-02-15T00:18:00.000+08:00

how do i love thee? let me count the ways.

this Valentine's, i learnt...

<3 how much one simple question asked can lead to disappointment, however unintentional and in the name of fun.

<3 how roses & chocolates & gifts that unexpectedly come from friends are the most beautiful things of all. well, the people rawk too (:

<3 that Jesus' love is the only love that never faileth. never. (:

<3 that i should seriously consider entering into a nunnery. saves me a whole lotta hearbreak. hahaha.

2006-02-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

retrospection.

i've only seriously realized it's 11 feb now. too many days have flown by me in the blink of an eye. it's been 3 weeks since her passing...and life goes on. inevitably. well, i just can't waaait for the one week break; i'll finally have some space to breathe & rest.

on a lighter note, Valentine's day is around the corner! this celebration only gives couples a license to have PDA and to lavish flowers/chocolates/gifts on each other. not that they care wut i think..they're in a world of their own most of the time. but i admit, the haising times were fun. getting heart-shaped balloons, ferrero rochers left mysteriously on the desk, bouquets of blue or red or pink roses, little bears, bookmarks, cards, anonymous love letters. 'twas hilariously sweet and yet slightly awkward at the same time. jc and uni times just don't quite cut it.

anyways, shout-outs to a selected few:

the pink-lover - sing yer fave songs, smile even in the storm, and know God will see you through it all.

the piggy king kong & the carribean breakdancer- though it's hard to let you go, in the Father's hands i know, that a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

blessed weekend all. (:

2006-02-06T01:02:00.000+08:00

absolute hilarity.

the old adage, "Laughter is the best medicine", certainly rings true. for the past 3 days, i've been laughing. a lot. loud throw-back gaping mouth guffaws. high-pitched giggles. cheeky snorting chuckles. (okay enough wit showing my expansive vocab huh =X ) it's all thanks to a particular bunch of gr... okay, not grapes, but a bunch of

GREAT PEOPLE!

thanks for the tutoring of Bridge, the well-chaffeured rides, the delicious steamboat, the wonderfully yummy cookies&cream, the amusing dare to present the starbucks counter girl with $500 monopoly currency, the ultra weird "Q&A session" that had everyone in stitches, and the singalong competition in starbucks.

to all: for spouting lame jokes and crappy sayings, for uttering prayers & sending smses, for just simply being there to comfort me & lift my spirits-

i'm so blessed. (:

2006-01-31T15:09:00.000+08:00

A Tribute

Tan Kim Kee

1930 - 2006

time would not stop still for me.

thursday evening of the 26th of January, 5:13pm

no one beside you

yet i wished for the minutes to fly by, the taxi to speed up

but i was too late.

i remember your words, your last few words.

be filial; listen to your mum.

heart aching as your cries of "Nurse!" filled

the room. where once

delicious smells wafted,

ngoh hiang, popiah, chicken wings.

and you loved kfc.

so goodbye for now.

goodbye to your wonderful dishes, birthday gifts,

the nagging, your favourite songs,

your suffering and pain. but most of all,

goodbye to you.

i'll see you in heaven, por-por.

---

many many grateful thanks to all who came to the wake or sms-ed me. really felt much better & more comforted. it's been a roller-coaster ride. i can't describe my emotions much; but shock & sadness pretty much sums it up. now i'm better though. i know she's resting in His arms. leaving you with a few words from Wordsworth's Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood:

"Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind".

2006-01-24T23:44:00.000+08:00

to all my friends and brothers-n-sisters in Christ, thanks for all the encouragement, prayers, verses & all. it's been a really trying week. my emotions seem to have been spent. i can't summon up the energy to smile & joke much. only had a good laugh on sunday night. it made me forget the worries and all that's happened for a while.

i'm fine, really. just that i don't feel like doing anything. i've lost my drive. i don't feel like going to school and sitting through lit lects. i don't feel like going to church. i don't feel like talking on msn. i don't feel like participating in the festive CNY traditions. i don't feel like dwelling on nonsensical gibberish like what kinda party i'm going to/what movie to watch/what new clothes to wear for CNY.

looks like i really need some hibernation time. really wish i could run away from it all. but no, i gotta shoulder on & move forward. food's my great comfort; but Jesus is my refuge. only now do i realize how much more i can & must depend on Him.

anyways, i shall look on the brighter side of life. someone told me that my grandma can live longer if i really pray more & believe in healing. and sunday's backup was fine though i had feedback i was a bit soft. but then, what people think don't really matter to me no more. to compliments i say thank you; to constructive criticism as well.

izzy...out.

2006-01-21T00:29:00.000+08:00

news just hit me today that my grandma is dying. very soon she'll be gone. all i'm left with now is a swirl of emotions within. i need an escape from the world & all its goings-on. funny how life is; only when death pops up do you fully realize how inconsequential and insignificant the pursuits we undertake are. but it's not only realization, you actually believe in the above-mentioned now. what an ecclesiastical vibe - meaningless, meaningless. everything is meaningless.

one voice in me says: let her go. Heaven is where she will find eternal peace, healing & rest.
the other voice whispers: but i don't want to.

my encouragement from Donne :

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

and my promise to You from "You Are" :

in the time of trouble, of this will I be sure- that I will bless the Lord forever.

2006-01-19T00:15:00.000+08:00

mutability.

bit by bit, i'm regaining my voice. hip hip hoorayy!! thank You.

Wordsworth and Coleridge running through my mind now; of Wordsworth and his aching joys and dizzy raptures, and of Coleridge in laudanum-laced stupors that brought about his fragments of poetry. fully in school mode, i am.

which reminds me of what a tutor from my module, The Craft of Writing(it's a compulsory module! i can't escape from it), said: when we write, we must write deep from our hearts. quite to my surprise, i sniggered. uncontrollably at that. (not good for a first impression!) maybe it was the way she said it: full of sincerity and belief in that phrase itself.

now if i really wrote deep from my heart, what horrors shall be unearthed? what is actually contained within the recesses of my heart? must i write full of passion & emotion, or move my hand with intellect and reason? or should it be that all i write must be from God, since i should love Him with all my heart, mind, body, soul?

my heart is but a mass, or to be more accurate, a mess, of melancholy cheerfulness resolve anger peace appreciation disappointment praises delight discontentment fear facts truths and so on.

so from henceforth, i write about everything...

and yet nothing at all.