not sure what's gotten into me. mebbe the lack of sleep that makes me really blur & lose my focus at work. and troubled over stuff i'm mulling over. or trying to escape from reality by losing myself in meaningless crap. on tues i forgot to bring my name tag. on wed i forgot my shirt. like how am i supposed to forget my uniform, of all things? haaaiz. really showing a poor attitude. when i don't mean to. and on thu(just now) i gave the wrong plate of food to some customers. they didn't know..but weell..quite upset. sigh.
on wed, though, i encountered four peeps from lighthouse all at the coffee club. that's a commendable no. i mean..i hardly meet anyone fr church there. upon reflection, i just feel somehow that that is God's way of telling me not to give up. and He sent me my friends to really lift my spirits(rem. wed was the day i forgot my uniform). just seeing them made me smilee :) thank you God. i feel like a Jonah: he ran away from God, but ever-merciful God provided a whale to save him & bring him to Nineveh to send a message. i think i'm running away. guess i should wake up b4 the storm comes & the whale swallows me...
illuminated. 2:29 AM
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
so now i'm sunburnt- red red shoulders. feel like a lobster. weell at least i got a tan! not a lim, ong, chan...okay. =P as somebody unflatteringly described me swimming as just drinking water, i beg to differ. i swum okayy..like once every 15 min? (bimbo tone here) hah.
at work felt like i was gonna puke. and i had a bad headache. what with the cigarette smoke which i can't help but inhale coz it's everywhere, the dim lighting, the cramped space, and me running on half-empty tank of gas..things could just not have gotten better- but it did: idiotic patrons who went "what do you think?" sarcastically when i asked if they wanted iced water instead of the ones they already had that had no ice in them. like, WHATEVER!
faced with some major questions now too. spiritual issues. i still don't geddit. and i feel like giving up. haah. but as bro sam said, don't. and i know i shouldn't. gotta press on.
illuminated. 1:08 AM
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
i HATE mosquitoes. stupid puny buzzing irritating insects. attacking my poor legs & ruining them. soo many blemishes now. arghhh. snatching me from my sleep in the middle of the night by some bites on my arms. feel like some half-crazed chimp who can't stop scratching itself.
work is funnn. changed my duty sorta..used to be kitchen/bar runner. meaning i am a Pavlov's dog in action- hear the bell(ding!), get to the kitchen/bar, and get the food/drinks. today i was a host. hahaha. welcoming ppl into the place. made some mistakes but yeah it was a cool experience. and there was a queue of people okay! muahaha..all attracted by my charm. =D i guess the mosquitoes aren't spared from my charm either...
total mozzy bites on body count: 3 on right foot, 2 on right calf, 1 on left foot, 2 on left calf, 1 on right arm.
ARGH!! attack of the killer mozzies. beware.
illuminated. 2:48 AM
Sunday, February 13, 2005
wheee.
illuminated. 9:28 PM
sunshine smiles
illuminated. 9:22 PM
4 little ladies sitting in a row.
illuminated. 9:17 PM
Saturday, February 12, 2005
happy cny. hah. well to tell the truth, it doesn't really hold much meaning for me. what with the stupid chinese songs i wake up to every morning(or afternoon) coz of the pasar malam below my house, the superficial gatherings where you just really feel like stepping out of the house once you step in, and the leetle hongbaos i get..sigh. still, one perk of the new year is that i could work for double pay!! woohoo =D also, i spent one night taking pix like mad with my cuzzies from m'sia. will post up e pix once i get them. =D
something bout the way you look tonight.
valentine's day is coming! i want chocs, flowers, prezzies, but not yer love. hahaha. rightt. here we go again: all the lovey-dovey mushy cards, the holding of hands, those secret stolen kisses. hmm. swweett. maybe i'm missing out on all da fun. boo. ahaha jk.
it's in the way that you hold me.
met up wit old mjc buddies. ate their leftover food at fish & co, then walked aimlessly around and went to n.y.d.c for dessert. wah..the brownie portion was so small but i didn't feel like eating. much. seow ding dong looks like a monk! haha..botak army boy. weihao is, as ever, tall and blur. jing's the little one who makes the most noise-apt description, no? HAHA! lump and her swingy skirts. angie's new hobby's suitable for old grannies who have too much free time on their hands. all da best to her! ;)
alright. i miss A101.
muacks*
illuminated. 1:57 AM
Monday, February 07, 2005
turn me away from all i have seen.
i am but a bottle bobbing on the sea- empty. lost. small.
life's twists and turns, ups and downs
changed me; who is me?
i know, but i do not feel.
i feel, yet i despair.
and i fade.away.
illuminated. 1:35 AM
Saturday, February 05, 2005
guess whaat?
got my first paycheck! yayy. although it's quite a measly sum but i'm still fine with it. =) plus, i got an angbao too with tips money in it! must really give all thanks & praise to God coz i've only worked there 3 wks but i actually can get some tips money..woohoo! okay, fyi tips money means money collected as tips given to the workers..quantity depends on ur performance blah blah. so yeah..i must really work more & earn more!
been praised! hahaha. when i was serving this caucasian couple, the husband went "where's my cake?" and i asked him if he had ordered any cake. his wife went, "ask him again if he ordered any." and he didn't. so his wife said, "ah he's just teasing you coz u're pretty." HAHA! wat a joke. okay enuff with the self-adulation =X
been cheated of pwecious money! these stoopid customers skipped off without paying their bill, and me and the other ppl at the section had to fork out money to cover their bill. sighhh.
illuminated. 1:49 AM
Friday, February 04, 2005
woaahhh.
i'm tired! standing for 8h is no joke. and my fingers are burned from holding plates with hot food. owww. ='(
i have come to a conclusion that most guys are seriously in need of a brain-washing: clearing out all their dirty thoughts and imputing clean ones. tsk tsk. but still, guess it goes to show we of the fairer sex certainly are fairer- in mind and appearance no less. all this brings to mind Donne's bawdy poems with lines like "bodies unclothed must bee/to taste whole joyes." HAH!
good read: "God Isn't In A Hurry"( i forgot the author) =P revealed to me many little things in the Christian walk, one example here: be a "hinge" person- one who leads others to Christ or encourages them; even if you think you are not impacting someone, don't give up. coz out there, there will be someone who responds to the tug in his heart toward God.
as i reflect...i think God has really changed me, and still is doing so. used to get reaally irritated fast. now i can smile and bear no grudges against people. truly through God's grace..but as the saying goes, "the largest room in the world is the room for improvement". i know God is still working in me to perfect me. amen to that. :)
illuminated. 1:21 AM
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
i'm not a girl, not yet a woman
getting hooked on cartoons when i'm not working- braceface, aladdin, sherlock holmes, whatever's on kids central, except hi-5 with its bwight cheerfulness that gets suffocating & silly dance moves and lyrics the kiddos try to emulate. the secret to staying young(i guess) haha.
poor Lucky's getting bored to death..and stinking to death as well. ahaha.
i haven't eaten a proper meal since i woke up(at about 2 plus pm)-one small swiss roll and many plain biscuits seems more fit for a sailor's meal aboard a long voyage. so sue me for being lazy and a huge fan of procrastination. i'll get up to buying my food...soon. =D
in the meantime, i need rescuing from boredom. somebody throw me a life-jacket!
illuminated. 6:12 PM
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
swimming is really relaxing. i love the feeling of being in the water..although i did more of floundering around than doing laps, i still EXERCISED. woot.
swordlight provides great in depth study into the life of Moses. after today's discussion, i realised that it definitely got more productive & interesting with questions being thrown out & views being aired. could Moses' staff have been turned into a lion instead? haa. funny. can't let this be head knowledge only though..gotta put all i learn into practice.
animated discussion with cin as we walked from church. haha. like about our dressing and God's calling in our lives. these little walks spent with frenz..ah they sure make my day. not to mention the curry puff i took the whole walk from the int. to church to finish. heh.
a supervisor at the place i work was (is?) getting on my nerves. but by God's grace & strength, i actually could smile even as she warned me and admonished me of things i did not do. zzz. i plotest, man. ah well..a smile works wonders. haa. one cook, whenever he sees me, will burst out in a wonderful song about me. wahaha. doesn't get any better than that, eh? =)
illuminated. 1:07 AM
femme
izzabelle/izzy/bel.
a melody that reaches to Heaven.
found to be lost in words.
solitude in late nights & alone time.
penchant for ice cream & chocolate.
adores(almost to bits) the cutest dog ever.
izzabelle/izzy/bel.