Friday, July 29, 2005
campus life..love it!
well maybe it's too soon to say i love it, but currently things're going swimmingly.
literature class looks set to be a fierce clashing of opinions at high-interaction level. (probably coz' participation counts for 10%).
i can't wait to sink my teeth into my french notes and then pick up a hot french monsieur ;)
and cinematic pleasures is definitely intriguing. a lot of film-watching and analysing it deeper.
kickboxing's the plus in campus life: i can actually finally exercise. heh. though i'm sure the endless climbing of stairs makes up for it.
NTU cell has high aspirations and i'm glad i'm a part of it. God's gonna move mightily!
so, yeah, what more can i say? :)
illuminated. 1:22 AM
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
L O S T
getting hopelessly lost is one thing. it is frustrating and irritating. but getting hopelessly lost and as such being noticed as a blur freshie is the pits. which is how i felt once again as i stepped into the hallowed hills of NTU. boohoo. i ain't no blur fresh-faced innocent kiddo here; i'm a university undergraduate! (on a sidenote, the face staring out on my matriculation card looks flustered and my specs are skewered sideways, really foreshadowing my days in uni probably.)
had a great freee lunch courtesy of HSS today. boy do i "looove" my school. the catered food was superb! or maybe it was because i was starving. the Literature freshmen are mainly girls, with the exception of 3 thorns among the roses. nun-hood really seems to be beckoning me. my profs. seem really outgoing and friendly. maybe we'll all be on a first-name basis. wouldn't it be cool. like, me going, "Hey kenneth(Dr. Kenneth Chan), what're we gonna do for Lit. today?" or "Neil(Neil Murphy, head of Lit.), i don't understand..." instead of "Sorry sir, very sorry, could you explain to me once again..." and getting an exasperated snort from the lecturer, as some from other faculties may expect. heheh.
oh and another thing i've lost: my voice. a friend asked me to check under my bed but i told him it was invisible. really hope it'll be found soon. i'll reward anyone generously who gives it back to me with the rich sound of my once more melodious voice. :))
illuminated. 1:50 AM
Sunday, July 24, 2005
engulfed in nostalgia
time really passes by very quickly. i marvel at how we all have grown in so many ways. went to apple's house to eat food specially prepared by chef-tress fun & assistant chef andi. was some gathering with all the mjc peeps. well she cooked salmon, chicken and pasta. and it was goood. 2 thumbs up! =)
then joined the hsc guys for late night makan. haha. just wanted to disturb them coz i haven't seen them for quite long. we had our special chaffeur ax and they wanted to go geylang to eat. but there were no available carpark lots. we had a real scare when he was looking out of his window on the right & didn't see these 2 women crossing in front. we were totally bearing down on them! but he swerved super quickly and didn't hit them. if we did...i really don't know what would happen. and after that they kept laughing & saying Initial D and stuff. it was a close shave man. anyways we headed to simpang. and as usual guy talk was mostly on army life. but it was pretty interesting.
was just hit with nostalgia looking at all these friends i've known for so long. i remember when we were goondu J1s in meridian, spending our time slacking and eating and talking crap and the boy trouble we faced. and hsc, one of the highlights in my life. i see how these boys have grown into army "men"; it's just really amazing to see us still keeping in touch after so long. but well some things haven't changed. like the guys' lameness. urgh.
i miss school life. lots. and well gonna embark on one more chapter of school life in uni this monday! exciteeng. can't wait to hit the books...
da bookworm is in da house!
illuminated. 3:26 AM
Thursday, July 21, 2005
well i went for the mindpower course. at first, when i heard some stuff that i didn't like, i walked out and hung around at the library. then i decided to see if i could actually break the chopstick with a piece of paper as the others were trying to do. i can't do that but i can break the chopstick in half with a toothpick. not too bad huh. hah. and using the "subconscious" we actually made a pendulum swing left to right, or swing in circles, or any other way.
the trainers said that the theory behind the whole mindpower thing was based on pyscho-master Freud. well, i know vaguely that Freud's ideas were contrary to Christianity in some ways. and they also practiced this thing called kao-chiki or something, which essentially is yoga. i also found out that basically this course calls for meditation, and they promise that you will receive great success in life, work improvement, etc after much practice. well this i will not participate in. as a christian, the focus must be on God not on man. meditation on God is the real key to developing yourself, not these. at least, that's what i believe.
so this was quite an eye-opener. although i will not believe in what they say or practice, it actually is quite interesting to realise the power of suggestion and what the subconscious can do.
illuminated. 11:49 PM
the way of escape.
i need your prayers. to my brothers and sisters in Christ, please intercede for me.
my mum asked me to go for this course about mind power & stuff a few days ago. so i thought it was pretty harmless. then i saw the email they sent, where they said the organisation was called TISAR, some thai mind control research centre. so i had some misgivings but still agreed to go to just go with my mum.
then i received some God-given counsel. my friend said that it is not of God and thailand is a mainly buddhist area. and i may be exposing myself to other spirits there. in that course you learn how to focus & channel your energy and mind power, and some can use a piece of paper to break a wooden pencil into two. sounds cool huh. but after she shared about how these may come about through the devil i believe that she is actually speaking words of wisdom.
i asked my mum about all this. and i actually got a huge scolding from my father. he went on and on about how they(parents) try to help us improve but we don't appreciate, and that my mum has already signed us(me and my younger bro) up for the course, and if i don't go i'm depriving someone of that place and my mum will lose face if we don't go. they think i'm not open minded at all. also that "staunch christians always say this cannot, that cannot" eg. yoga. and most hurting, my father said i call myself a christian but just look at my behaviour! i wanted to cry.
i most seriously contest that last statement. i mean, the world and even us christians expect us to change dramatically overnight, that we will be holy and righteous because we are christians. but that doesn't happen in an instant! God is using this life of ours on earth to change us bit by bit. but of course, i admit that yes, i am not perfect and i have my flaws that may be pretty obvious, such as being easily irritated. i dunno if this is persecution, but well, it stings. especially coming from parents.
so my friend found the TISAR website and a portion of it goes:
"in order to access greater mind power you must be prepared to change the way you think.
If you want to hold on to old belief systems and religious mindsets then I cannot help you."
when i saw that, i realised that this whole course thing is really not of God. yes, i'm sure it will help me to improve and expand my subconscious level in some way, but is it the right way of doing so? i believe not. Jesus said He is the way, the truth and the life. we humans can use all sorts of methods possible to obtain great success, deeper level of thinking, but where does it all head to? our own self-glory or self-empowerment and a sense of fulfilment in life. But Jesus does not call for that; He calls for a deeper level of communicating with Him and loving Him and then we shall have abundant life, and have it to the full.
i pray for God's protection upon me, my brother and my mum as we go tomorrow. i am gonna step out after registering man. but my brother is still young & impressionable. really am quite worried about him. i mean, what if he gets absorbed into these stuff. i'm a bit scared too of what i may face or feel. but God has said that we shall not have a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind. and also He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world. i really claim all these promises now. thanks for praying and i'll blog about my experience there tomorrow.
illuminated. 1:27 AM
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
la vie en rose
only now i'm excited about going to uni after realising i can take FRENCH!!!!! as my elective. woohoo! it's been my childhood dream of sorts to spout je, le, bonjour, merci, and what-not. hahaha. not sure why but i love paris though i've never been there. mebbe coz its the romantic city. ooh la la!
and i can also take this elective called (quote)"Magic of voice in the world of singer"(unquote). like, errr? horrible grammar and title. but according to them i can learn how to improve my voice and sound like a diva! okay that last part was my own addition.
off to bed now. work at raffles tomorrow. at a highly secret firm with me being the CEO. and no i don't earn peanuts. heheh.
illuminated. 12:43 AM
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
speedlight musicians! haha. only putting this up coz i think it looks darrnn cool. as if they're some boyband. hah!
illuminated. 1:33 AM
I LUV US! music ministry guys, choir dudes & choir babes! on Youth Challenge.
illuminated. 1:29 AM
Saturday, July 16, 2005
M.A.D. - making a difference!
went to NTU for a Campus Crusade camp from 13-15 July. well, when i first met my group ECCENTRIC i was really tired & stoned quite a bit. yeah..guess that's why my group ppl thought i was kinda quiet. oops. haha. as my leader said, the seniors all felt i changed dramatically. funny why ppl always say that. i guess what you see is really not all you get...
which of course was the theme of the impactful message shared with us. i think the speaker was rad! he talked about us treasuring wordly possessions and not putting our God first in our lives where He should be. he told a good story:
a rich man was about to die and he prayed earnestly that God will allow him to bring his wealth into heaven with him. finally an angel appeared and told him that God allowed him to do so. so the man took out his largest suitcase and packed large gold bars into it. when he reached the gates of heaven, St. Peter asked him what he brought, and when St. Peter opened the suitcase, he exclaimed, "what! you brought pavement?"
imagine that. gold bars are pavement in heaven. yet we still treasure such wordly wealth so much here on earth. everything truly is peanuts compared to knowing Jesus...
where we used those peanuts as our currency in playing a game of scissors paper stone! i really won many times..think i can read minds hehe. we also went on a mad dash all around NTU. my whole body ached and still is. i really enjoyed the last night where we stayed up till 6am! played games like guessing the number, polar bear(ugh) and murderer. haha. drank 6 cups of water as my forfeit and had to go to the toilet 4 times. sheesh. and i only slept for 2 hours plus that morning. zzz
i thank God so so much for giving me such great group members who are so cheerful & enthusiastic in everything we did: zhixian, clara, enting, shiying, doreen, andrea, edlyn, gabriel, steward, roger, ee jun, wai yin, edwin. i loved the time we walked back at 1 am plus from the coffeeshop outside NTU to our hall where we stayed, singing christian songs all the way. i enjoyed our skit though i made a big boo-boo and said "SOBA" instead of "SABO" - severe acute body odour. haha! stage fright probs.
so at the end of the day, what have i learnt/gained? i am like superr encouraged by the example set by the CC seniors. they're all so nice & friendly & on fire for God. i've learnt to set aside my own reservations and actually participate in the games with vigour. and yes i desire to grow more in Him and closer to Him as well so i can be empowered to do what's required of me. yep, i don't regret goin fer this camp at all. thinking about it, i have only been to church camps so far. woohoo =)
okay time to gain back on my beauty sleep. cheerioo
illuminated. 1:53 AM
Saturday, July 09, 2005
weehoo! i'm enjoying my days of freedom man. feel sooo much more relaxed now. just met up with 3 buddies of mine, daniel, joel & weijing. those 2 guys are really like my bros in Christ man. really thank God for bringing me friends like these. their passion spurs me on. their questions make me discover more about God and ourselves. really happy to have friends like these.
anyways daniel treated me to fish & co. woooot! so nice of him huh. my early b'day prezzie. there were two guys serenading the guests at The Glass House. i loved the way they played. simply awesome. a fusion of bossa nova and jazz. delicious! but too bad singaporeans are just too impassive & nonchalant. bah. hate our indifference sometimes. we then headed to cafe cartel to eat dessert. tried the brownies which were pretty good. i'm super stuffed now man. feel like a garjing. hahahaha!
rights.well i ain't expecting anything for my b'day and you're not obliged to give me anything. i'm all right wit it. hehe. (some of you must be screaming in joy now; i've let you off the hook!) ahaha. don't much care fer birthdays anyways. just don't buy me cakes! i've eaten too much of my bro's one already- his b'day just passed. *shudders*
on a last note, happy birthday to my bro jon and melia! =D
illuminated. 2:17 AM
Friday, July 08, 2005
i look like a PANDA!!! as if somebody boxed me in the eye. or my mascara(which i actually don't apply) ran so much it accummulated in a pool beneath my eyes. poor ole haggard me :(
met up with my cg leader today. does it sound ominous? well actually we had great fun chatting & stuffing ourselves with pasta & healthy gelato! it was really nice, those fruity flavours and yogurt mix are really tangy & coool. i was actually quite scared; thought she wanted to pseudo-interrogate me. whew. authority's nuthin' but a word to segregate. guess i should disregard it(sometimes). heh.
and, horrors of horrors, a friend of his recognised me & stopped to chat as i was working today. he commented that he sees me working everywhere- orchard, raffles, bugis, you name it. fine. call me a workaholic to my face, why dontcha. hahaha. i shouldn'tve said what i said. but i told him to tell him he was a jerk. well too late fer regrets now. and anyway i did want to be a lil petulant. but mebbe it shows i still care. aughhh. the things i get myself into.
s h u t u p , i z z y.
illuminated. 12:30 AM
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
what a blast!
today i headed down to my old piano teach's condo for a swim. met lyn over there and we had a grreaat adventure! first we tried out this pool that had some sorta deck chairs submersed in it..like a suntanning while lying in the pool combo. i praise the person who came up with this idea. totally rad! then we went to the jacuzzi. we were like in a raging sea, what with frothing bubbles popping up all around us. and yeah well we just hung around chatting & occassionally swimming. heh. yes that's my definition of going swimming. it's to Rest & Relax. woohoo. oh not forgetting to get a tan. and i think i'm darker. =D
next up on my agenda: movie-mania. it's been ages i tell you since i stepped into a theatre. watched War Of The Worlds with xian. funny part bout the movie is, the sounds were so loud that the seats and all vibrated. pretty kewl. as if aliens were really stomping all over us. dakota fanning kept screaming. like geeez. and i don't get the parts about being in the basement with the mad old fat man or how robby/robbie came back alive- that whole area was scorched by tripods! mmph. i have a mind to read H.G.Wells now.
rights next two days it'll be work fer me. i think i'll stop working by aug. lost the motivation to drag people in somehow. sigh. mebbe i'll head fer tuition now. hmm hmm!
illuminated. 12:38 AM
Friday, July 01, 2005
comtemplative mood. my work record at cali's literally going down the drain. and i dunno why. i do wanna get more ppl to go but somehow i can't. and others can get like, 10+ ppl? pissed and puzzled. i joke & say i can try again the next time i work as if it doesn't really matter to me now..but it does. somehow the results just don't seem to show. dammit. i need to support my uni life man. haiz.
and seriously today i attracted all the wrong kind of people. i mean, whyy can't ppl who are eligible to go into cali approach me huh. there were these 3 ah bengs who followed me when i walked from one end to another, and one came up to ask about cali, which is totally just a front lah. had no idea what they wanted. well but managed to get away. and mebbe just half n hour later this young guy came up and asked how old i am. and i went "ohh..i'm nineteen. too old right. haha bye!" and siam-med. he's some teenage punk lah i think. haha. too bad fer him. why can't some totally rad electric guitarist or handsome mr. exec come look me up man. :))
just watched one tree hill. one thing bout that show, it has reaally good showcases of superb singers. oh gosh. i wish i could sing like them. i really want to! to tell the truth, i did dream of being a singer once. but well. maybe..dreams can still come true.
illuminated. 12:55 AM
izzabelle/izzy/bel.