Saturday, March 12, 2005
shutmeup.
sometimes we say what we don't mean. sometimes we don't mean what we say. and i seem to fall into both these categories of slip-ups almost everyday. for instance, i kinda laughed at someone's name(my bro's friend) coz i thought he was chinese! i mean who in their right minds would name their son tamil? then my brother told me his friend's name was a truncated version. and he's indian. and i'm not racist or anything. but over the phone, that friend of my brother's really sounded chinese...and i didn't mean to be rude! i wasn't even laughing at his name, it was at the thought that somebody would name a person that. and once when i was at a coffeeshop recently, a skimpily dressed woman suddenly emerged behind me, and i was like "woah"(it was a natural reflex reaction!), shook my head and smiled a lil. sighh..then i think a man nearby got offended by what i said & did. but i really wasn't laughing derisively at a prostitute! like what for man.
so there i am, expressing my most natural reactions, emotions, whatnot. and i get slammed fer it. right, it's easy to misunderstand; many a time we all do. life's irony: as we get older, it gets harder and harder for us to say what we really feel. look at the bootlicker polishing the shoes of his boss with words of lavish praise when he's thinking evil thoughts of his boss all the time. or we ladies go "it's fa-booo-lous!" when actually the big garish polka-dot print makes one wanna puke. shouldn't life be that when we get older, we are able to discern truth from falsity; genuine concern from fake sincerity; light from dark? seems only babies & toddlers can get away with blunt showing of their emotions/feelings. who can get offended when they innocently mention stuff that makes your face go red, stuff that you would rather keep stuffed in the deepest recesses of non-existence?
let me be a peter pan and fly away to neverland.
illuminated. 12:41 AM
izzabelle/izzy/bel.