Friday, March 04, 2005
three months since the last A level paper. and day by day, week by week, they've whizzed past, right up to TODAY. the day of judgment. when i see the dreaded piece of paper that somehow also signifies my future. boy am i so not looking forward to it. i really can't predict my results. heck, i don't wanna try. my inside feels twisted up; this constant "empty" feeling in me. it's just like when you're watching a horror movie and the music builds up, swelling, getting higher in pitch, emphasising the shadow of a man wielding a knife...that exact feeling of not knowing what'll happen next, where the story's gonna turn to.
my imagination's going off on its own happy run. i shall not type down the positive nor the negative scenarios just in case one actually comes true. what am i gonna do when i see the slip? cry, laugh, stone, get moody? i remember my O levels. yep i almost cried coz i got A1 for my english(was a B3 for my prelims). and my other subs did averagely well too. truly a miracle that my A maths & E maths could get B3. that was definitely by God's grace..i mean, my maths was predicted(by my own maths teacher no less)to get a C. but now this A level..it's an entirely different story. God help me.
faith. that's all i have.
peace of mind. that's all i need.
satisfaction with my results. that's all i want.
illuminated. 2:37 AM
izzabelle/izzy/bel.