Sunday, May 29, 2005

food, O glorious food! the last proper meal i ate was on friday at 2pm- the coffeeclub staff meal of pasta. horrible huh? i can't believe myself how i can 'survive'. well today(saturday) i had some cheese sausages and two sandwiches. sheesh. i really should take more care of my body man..can't destroy the temple of God.

as the days draw nearer to my decision & announcemt. to quit work, i'm really enjoying it more & more. totally ironic. i really love working with my colleagues man. and i can interact with different kinds of ppl at work. i'm not trying to be condescending, but through work i've gained a good fren and more buddies who're from ITE. in the past i thought all ITE students were hooligans. and of those colleagues i'm closer to, they're really hardworking & cheery & funny peeps. i'll miss them superbly. haiz. but we all hafta move on.

reading a book by Wong Ming-Dao, famous preacher in the 20th century in China. i think every Christian should read a biography or sth on a Christian who God chose to do his work. like with Wong Ming-Dao, i really felt his desire to put God first in all and to only do what God wants him to do. that really spurred me on to decide in my heart that i want to commit my way to the Lord. WMD was not afraid to speak against the evil & corrupt practices rife in the churches in China, and it just speaks to me on how so many evil occurrences found then in China are still in place today. but what are we doing about it? i hate my complacency, and yet i still can't seem to move outta my comfort zone.

yeah well there's church soon in a few hours. yay :)

illuminated. 1:25 AM

Thursday, May 26, 2005

at the coffeeclub :)

illuminated. 2:58 AM

was quite disaster-prone today. after work i headed to buy a Big Gulp at 7-eleven when this customer walked past, knocked it down, and spilled my whole drink on the floor! arghh. didn't even say a proper sorry. i've created so much havoc & trouble at that 7-eleven man. sheesh.

and then at city hall mrt station, i was walkin w doug when this man literally fell on me! initial reaction was to be surprised & irritated. from the corner of my eye i had seen a white sleeve so i thought it was my colleague at the coffeeclub or sth. turned out to be this middle-aged man, and after he fell onto me, he collapsed on the floor on his back. i was stunned and doug went to help him up. this woman hung around nearby and kept repeating "he's drunk". she seemed to be his wife, but in the end turned out she was just another commuter. interestingly enough, no one around stopped to help at all. sorta reflects the Good Samaritan story in the bible: the man by the roadside(middle-aged man), the samaritan(doug), the pharisee(the woman) and the other person who walked past(me). i can't rem that character! haha.

well some revelation sorta hit me today too. i've been so consumed in my pursuits of things in this life that God must simply grieve that i have sidetracked. gotta go back to my first love.

illuminated. 2:30 AM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

first impressions are nothing man. what we see or think we understand somehow doesn't turn out to be who the person really is. guys- i'm seriously swearing off them. guess the interest faded away, or an old flame reignited. but how does it explain your absence. ah well. it was a friendship built on superficiality. that can never be stable, nor turn out well, can it.

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

illuminated. 1:27 AM

Monday, May 23, 2005

groovy day in church today. hahaha. "into the shelter house we go.." =) anyways, the shops in tricity are all moving away/closed down. wonder what'll happen to the business there. will the speedlighters move in search of a better makan place or just stay put? somehow this shows our willingness and receptivity to change too, i feel. we'll see what happens next week. stay tuned..haha.

my grandma's suffering a lot now i think. the veins in her arms were clogged up or something so the docs had to operate and insert the tubes for dialysis into her inner thighs instead. it's just so..heart-wrenching. really gotta pray for her. that there'll be no more complications in her health.

and i even fell for that stupid love song.

illuminated. 3:16 AM

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

my pop's borrowed lots of hindi movies recently. really great shows i tell ya. i think such shows are so much more worth it to watch than the crap shown in theatres. one would be bored to death by the amity series of cheap thrills, sequel after no-brained sequel, and silly fluffy lightweights that hold no good storyline whatsoever. anyways, the thing about these indian movies is that they have about three discs for one movie usually. and this is what my pop gave as the explanation: 'indians are poor, so they wanna feel that they've got their money's worth. that's why hindi shows are so long.' mmph. no racist jabs intended! india is a relatively poor country, so guess it makes a little sense? haha.

work was cool today - literally. great cooling weather, and i hardly perspired..work was like a breeze! hadn't been that way for a loong time. thank God for today =)

i don't wanna fall hard again. and then land flat on my face. no no. it's irritating; after every such situation i'll declare it'll not happen to me again in a long long while. but time has its tricks up its sleeves; the "long long while" hardly even arrives before i'm faced with another situation. bahh. i really ought to heck care. and leave it all to God.

illuminated. 2:33 AM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

had a grreeat gurltalk session on sunday with cin, jan, chiumian & shimin. we were grossed out by pregnancy tales and talked about the guys in speedlight- how if some were just older we would go fer them. haha!

i've been accepted into NUS as well! woot. quite cool..actually i've been leaning towards NTU. but looking through the package NUS sent, there's this student exchange program to france or germany. it has been a dream of mine to go overseas to study man. it'll be sooo kewl if i go to france! c'est la vie! je te aime!

visited my grandma today in hospital. really sad to see her health deteriorate. she's super frail & small now. with all the protruding veins & stuff coz of excessive poking of needles for dialysis. after my mum and i visited her, we found out she has to be moved to another ward coz there's this contagious thingy in her phelgm or sth. and we just visited her man. so..just pray she'll recover and my mum & i don't get infected. sheesh..i regret 'suan-ing' doug's infection, saying he got it coz he watched the dumb movie "Infection". oopps.

and i'm gonna quit coffeeclub soon i think. i've concentrated my efforts there for half a year or so..think it's time to move on, focus more on church stuff and family affairs too. probably gonna work at cali more..it pays more man, and i work shorter hours. =) californiaa here i comee.. but well, i'll really miss working at C.C.

and i watched time fly right by me.

illuminated. 1:53 AM

Sunday, May 15, 2005

lucky's botak. he looks like a chihuahua with protruding eyes. hahaha! c'mon praise me, you goons who say i only give him annual baths. he's soo clean now. anyway, he loved the woman from the pet shop who came to pick him up from my house. not even a glance back at me as he walked away happily with her. my bro said he kept whining when the woman left after dropping him home. mmph. shows what gratitude dogs have to their owners huh. *growl* weell..the woman remembered lucky when i called her up...

woman: oh! the fat fat cute cute one ah

me: .........fat meh.

u can say i'm in denial, but LUCKY AIN'T FAT! so there.

oh and i really need more sleep? stupid eyebags. i look like a panda. and there's church later on! finally going back to choir. hm. didn't really feel like a month-long break..funny how time flies. still, i'm glad i am a member of the choir. sometimes i stop singing during practice to hear the harmony. pure heaven =)

illuminated. 2:12 AM

Saturday, May 14, 2005

z o m b i f i e d

i reached home at 5am today! worked till 3am man. then had a chat with a colleague & my boss. i am just SO dead tired. i would luv to sleep, but then Lucky's gonna be sent for grooming before 8:30am today..and no one will be awake. so i think i've gotta keep myself awake till then. but it's a darn long 2 hours. ahhh man. i need SLEEP! i have work at 3pm the next dayy..zzz. anyway, pretty interesting to work graveyard a lil'. it's so dark i can hardly see my orders. haha. and singapore peeps are really night-lovers. so many out & about even at 3am. stupid clubbers & drunkards. hahaha. okay that's kinda harsh. oh and i got a free drink compliments of my bosses!=D strawberry limeade's quite nice. haha. ah forget it i so can't keep myself awake for 2 hours more. time to hit the sack, be knocked out, catch forty winks,you name it.

absence; shall it make the heart grow fonder or further?

illuminated. 6:07 AM

Thursday, May 12, 2005

downhill spiral.

work today was bad bad baad. first, we were shorthanded. next, i probably gave my manager a wrong impression of me when something occurred. then, my manager got into a not-so-good mood(usually he's quite amiable). and i seem to have a serious attitude problem- okay, i do have it. i'll give customers a super black face, coz i think some have eyes on the soles of their feet. like hello?! when i'm serving food they ambush me on every side with pleas for more water, to take their orders or to have tomato chilli cheeseflakes tabasco. bahh! i'm probably getting pretty sick of work..that's why my attitude's getting a lil' lousy. darn it. gotta buck up man. i really hope my manager won't think badly of me too. sigh sigh. friday's gonna be the first time i work till 3am! kewlbeans. anyway they say it sucks; you're like doing housework. ah well..at least i have a free cab ride home.

and the world swallowed me up into darkness.

illuminated. 12:42 AM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

BAHHHH!

stupid freaking tagboard. i spent like a half hour and more trying to change the size of the words? somebody help me. stupid html's like an alien language. i'm darnn tiredd. but anyways, i changed the template. although the depicted girl looks a bit like lindsay lohan..but whatever. kewl kewl.

illuminated. 4:03 AM

Saturday, May 07, 2005

sheesh. one week of being a host has taken its toll on me. got a slight flu & sore throat. i'm reallly kinda tired of doing it! still, i'm glad i'm given the experience. Thank God he sustained me through this week. i'm finally not working on sat. YAY!! happy happy =D

there's this NTU tea reception that i just realised i have to call them up to confirm my attendance. i thought i could just waltz in. a huge plus factor is that there's freee food! okay, cheapo revealing herself here. wahaha.

i really do think this world's getting more and more liberal & open. shows like The Amazing Race, Desperate Housewives etc. seem to have or are about to have displays of homosexuality. and, there are more homosexuals hanging about now(just go any restaurant and have a peek; you'll know what i mean.) in the past, this kinda thing was more taboo than accepted; now we shrug it off and let it assimilate into local culture. it's like a rising trend- similar to half-cardigans, bubble tea, high Japanese like stockings. so will it fizz out, drift away into oblivion? who knows, man.

illuminated. 2:21 AM

Thursday, May 05, 2005

stressed at work today. think the coffee club's v happy coz the crowd's coming back..this whole wk has been busy busy. and i was the sole host(again) like zzz! after days of being host, i must say i do not enjoy it, nor do i totally hate it. but some guests are just..inexplicably irritating & rude. mebbe coz i've started cursing some as "bitzzch" or "buzzturd" that now i have an ulcer in my mouth. sheesh..i can go for months without drinking water much and i don't get any ulcer man. okayy i've really gotta wash my filthy mouth.

anyways, a friend's uncle passed away recently. Death - what a word to strike fear in us, or to inspire thoughts of an afterlife. i can't emphathise with him; no one that close to me has passed away yet, but i'm dreading the day it comes. like my poor grandma. or lucky. i think i'd just stone away and have a tremendous bout of mood swings. and i hate Death for what it brings: anguish, awkwardness, empty laughter, despair, but most of all, the loss.

illuminated. 1:18 AM

Monday, May 02, 2005

in a few months' time, you will probably see me wandering the (haunted?) halls of NTU, perhaps carrying loads of thick books bearing names like Tozer, Austen, Shakespeare, Blake, Dickens, and countless others immortalised by their literary masterpieces. waait a minute, you say: i ain't no uni student; i'm a lowly waitress busking tables at a crowded smoky restaurant in town.

but read this: i have been accepted into NTU's English Lit. course! i am officially a bookworm now! wahoooo =D God has been good. i didn't even have to go through an interview. like, whew. that saved me lots of worry & nervousness.

so yeah, here's to the endless days of mugging, the droning lecturers' nasal voices, the devouring of books with a thousand pages, and my myopia.

illuminated. 11:59 PM

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Monday, May 23, 2005

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Monday, May 02, 2005

femme

loved

praise

whisper

past

credits