Thursday, June 09, 2005
one of the worst possible days today at work. gonna blog it all out..so bear with me.
yeah well i was host today and seriously speaking i've kinda lost my 'magic touch' as a host. it's like..i just don't seem to have the power to control the situation anymore. i don't know why. maybe i'm too tired. or i seem like a pushover. my manager said to me, "You don't seem to be in form today." and that i do agree with her. i know i was not a bad host previously, but recently? seems like another situation altogether. anyway, i was scolded like more than five times today. my manager got irritated at me coz i kept bringing ppl to a particular table even though she had already told me that no one would want to sit there & would rather sit at other tables. i made her super pissed off as well coz i didn't follow her instructions properly for sth else. it's the way she scolded me, not really about what she scolded me for, that made me feel really bad & guilty. and what's more i was disappointed in myself coz i really was losing my touch. didn't help much that i accidentally saw her biasness. i mean i've known it's present, but lookit this: she scolded everyone except one particular female colleague whom she favours a lot. like come on, give me a break. i mean, i understand why that colleague is liked by her so much; she's a good waitress. still, the biasness was just too evident for me, and too overwhelming. can't stand it.
i wonder why i work like a slave for peanuts, for ppl who don't even appreciate it much. why am i so compassionate as to agree to work more than the average s'porean as they're short of staff? i really regret it..giving up all my time to help this stupid coffee club. i guess now that i've kinda destroyed the good impression(if any) my manager has for me, they wouldn't mind me quitting. yay. at least there's an opening here..couldn't muster the courage or find an opportunity to tell them i wanna quit.
TO FREEDOM...AND BEYOND.
illuminated. 1:11 AM
izzabelle/izzy/bel.