i hate being undermined. and i hate the reason why i am undermined- because i look young. i hate it when people go, "Oh! Thought you were in secondary school or jc" or when they say "you look reaaally long..u should be in secondary school instead!" or sometimes even jokes. i hate it when they placate me: "Oh, it's always good to look young."

Can somebody not see me for me? Can nobody acknowledge i am a person of not-so-immature thinking? (i don't profess to be that mature yet, i'm but nineteen years old.)

i hate it when people look through me. i hate it when people speak as if i am not there. okay fine, everybody doesn't like this.

i hate having no purpose in a certain area that i have been chosen/called to help out & serve in. I hate losing the purpose, if there even is any. i hate the tears that just roll down my cheeks because i feel i am not contributing, i am not valuable, i am not required. i hate my emotions that i express to be misintepreted.

i am not unwilling! i am not! i want to give so much but i can't seem to! i don't know how to, i don't know...anything.

mebbe, in the end...

i hate me.