Wednesday, November 30, 2005
whatta headache.
weell i found out that this new layout of mine is being used by someone whose name is a variation of mine. in a bid to be "unique" again, i tried to put my pic to replace the original but it can't work! anyone know how to not make the pic scroll up & down? your advice is extremely welcome.
this picture you see is courtesy of darling drea when we headed to the beach today! had lots of fun wit the gurls. (: happy, happy holidays.
illuminated. 1:15 AM
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
swinging between undiluted happiness and unspoken despair.
i, unfortunately, am still unable to practice fully this Biblical precept: to consider it pure joy when i encounter trials/tribulations of any kind. i lament sometimes, i ferment in anger sometimes, i feel enthusiastic sometimes, i feel hopeful sometimes, i feel hopeless sometimes.
it's times like this when i appreciate all the small gifts life has given me; i appreciate all my friends- their showing of concern, their promises of prayer, their jokes that uplift my spirit. i thank God for knowing each and every single one of you. though you may not know me inside out, or know all my troubles/cares, your presence truly is a blessing to me.
My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word.
Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through Your law.
I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws.
I hold fast to Your statutes O Lord; do not let me be put to shame.
I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.
[Psalm119:28-32]
illuminated. 1:23 AM
Sunday, November 27, 2005
the kiss of FREEDOM
well from exams that is. what a great feeling of liberation! now i only have to anticipate the "wonderful" results i'll get. mmphh. haha.
anyway i had a great time today! met up with church buddies and some other friends (: pretty nice atmosphere in coffeebean.
some of us headed to harry's! my ears were blasted wit the sound of uncle paul & his band jamming. he's *magical* with the guitar man. (hehe. an allusion to HARRYpotter) the music coupled with many many lame jokes and army stories made the night a great one! although the singapore sling didn't sit well wit me. tsk tsk..singapore no standard lah! heheh. shirley temple was better- lemony and it's non-alcoholic anyways.
now all i need to complete this day is a good sleep. i wanna sleepallday! [jason mraz] ciao!
illuminated. 2:05 AM
Thursday, November 24, 2005
p r a y i n g.
* for my grandma. she's almost going Home now. been in & out of hospital. and now she's in hospital bcoz she fractured her leg in a fall.
* my family's financial situation.
* my own major decision concerning church matters.
these 3 things above have somehow come concurrently. yet through it all, this song keeps running in my head:
You are my light and salvation
Whom shall I fear
You are the strength of all my days
And whom shall I be afraid
Though war may rise against me
Of this will I be sure
That I will bless the Lord forever
I'll bless Your holy name
Yes I will bless the Lord forever
I'll bless Your holy name
Lord it is You I desire
It's You that I seek
To live with You in Your house forever
Beholding Your beauty
And in the time of trouble
Of this will I be sure
You ask me who You are
Say that You are the God
Say that You are the Christ
Son of the Living God
[Hillsong United - You Are]
illuminated. 5:03 PM
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
* capturing.memories *
*cell.buddies*
*girls.rawkk*
*whole.gang*
illuminated. 5:50 PM
Friday, November 18, 2005
H O L A ! !
yay! my last literature paper ended today! i'm sooo thankful & glad fer that! i feel as if i'm already on holiday somehow. muahaha. even though my truly last paper is on 25th nov. it's my fave module- watching movies & analysing them (:
i had a grreatt time today too! choir practice was just fun & meaningful. i think the choir's really growing, not so much in number but in unity. altos rawk! what a noise we make. hahaha. and supper was funny too; lots of laughs and jibes.
okay can anyone tell that i'm in a hugely good mood?! i feel so excited for the things to come: cellgroup BBQ, AllforChrist camp, tuition-ing(not that excited for this), TheNoiseWeMake in speedlight, all the post-exam gatherings with old & new friends. bring them on!
thank You Lord.
better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere (:
illuminated. 2:16 AM
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
choices.
sometimes what i choose leaves much to be questioned. you know you're somehow not "doing the 'right' thing" and that things should not be in such a compromising bind, but yet they are.
so, now what- forge on ahead doing what you really want to do, or to do the 'politically' correct thing?
when i made that split-second decision to continue on with the original plan and not let it be disrupted by this new event, how confident was i that it was what i should be doing? not very, but i decided i needed the former more. sometimes, i just need a rest from the whirlwind activity of life, and just relax and unwind and receive instead of give. feels like i'm giving of myself a lot(not that i'm magnamimous or prideful) but mebbe i'm stretching myself a little thin with SO MANY activities & things i have to do i just don't know the reason behind the doing anymore.
it's time for me to recharge, to rebuild my passion, and to be renewed & refreshed.
illuminated. 11:21 PM
Saturday, November 12, 2005
no man's an island.
but sometimes i do wish to be one. i wanna be stuck on some little nondescript isle with a good book, soft breeze, water lapping, and just be alone. that's what i crave most: alone time.
away from worries, cares, distractions, emotion, pressure. i shrink away from adversity, from the crowd pulling me in and draining me of my individuality. i try to beat off the monsters of insecurity, doubt, cynicism- but they're lurking around. somewhere. everywhere?
escapism.
but i will run to You.
illuminated. 5:24 PM
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
my gift is my song (:
wassupp world?! now using snow white(laptop). yays!
just had one lit paper done today. wuz quite all right i guess. i really wrote only about 3 pages for each essay question? ah well..quality over quantity! oh and my exam seat was seriously the best. my seat faced this WHITE WALL. now isn't that like some physical manifestation of writers' block? i couldn't see the clock(if there was one) meaning that i had no idea how time passed! i just had to estimate the time to spend on each essay. thank God that when i finished, there were 15mins left.
i've been having insomnia! sigh sigh. my dark circles are baaad, really badd. :( anyways i have french exam tomorrow at 930 stoopid AM! first time in a long while i woke at 630am(my exam was at 930am today too).
j'aime lis! j'aime etudie! je voudrais tres bien ecrire francais.
okay..i don't really know how correct my grammar is. HAHA! ciao
illuminated. 10:53 PM
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
my recipe for mugging
half a beaker-- no make that one full beaker of motivation
a bowlful of pumping brain juices
a handful of concentration & focus
two tablespoons of urgency
a dash of insight
a sprinkling of classical music
oh who'm i kidding. i ain't no cook!
illuminated. 8:58 PM
izzabelle/izzy/bel.